Moral of the story: If you are ugly and there’s a youtube comments chance to get laid, you take it(even if they have a furry profile photo.)
Especially if they have a furry profile picture.
even if they have a furry profile photo
I rather stay single.
There’s a Reddit community I used to visit now and then that was for ugly people. It was so toxic and hateful. These people literally believe that they can never be happy or have a relationship because they think they’re ugly - it’s their entire identity. I worry that many outcasts fall into this trap during their formative years and it warps their view of the world like the gentleman in the video.
I think that once they get out into the real world, most folks find that looks don’t matter as much as lifestyle, personality, and compatible morals.
I didn’t think I was ugly because I thought I was ugly. I thought I was ugly because no one wanted anything to do with me for reasons I couldn’t comprehend.
I also noticed how “pretty” people didn’t have anywhere near as hard of a time socializing as I did. They were allowed to have bad personalities. Even if I was as kind and helpful as I could possibly be I’d never be treated the same way as a “pretty” person would.
It’s one of the ugly truths of human existence, that most people won’t admit.
“Looks” absolutely play a large role in inter-human relationships. But since it carries a lot of unpleasant things most people don’t want to admit, they either ignore it, or outright lie about it to make themselves feel better.
The research has been done “pretty” people earn more, get more promotions, and are generally more successful at life.
Not to say your life is over if you’re not pretty. But there is a clear advantage.
It’s one of the ugly truths of human existence, that most people won’t admit.
I don’t know, whatever social media I go this kind of comment tends to be one of me most upvoted/liked/shared ones, always. Don’t think it’s an unpopular statement at all. In my IRL country it’s also an understood truth, there’s many common sayings that allude to it. Maybe it’s different in some countries like the US (maybe its puritan roots lead to a more euphemistic approach? I don’t know).
I think it’s more that western societies like to try to act like their instincts aren’t real. They’ll look you dead in the face and say “beauty means nothing to me!” Meanwhile their secretary is massively under qualified for the job but she got big tiddies.
Or when a super hot woman is a total cunt but everyone let’s her get away with it because “ooh hot girl”
It’s the same way with men I just used women as an example because I’m a dude who’s seen a lot of girls with shit personalities get treated like they can do no wrong.
The thing to focus on is that there are many different kinds of people in the world. I grew up with a disability, and it didn’t take me long to figure out that there are people you’ll meet who just hate you for not being what they consider to be “normal.” There’s nothing you can do - they’re just going to hate you. But, I eventually found that there are also people who would never dream of doing such a thing, and will treat you neutrally until they get to know you, and will treat you well after that if you treat them well.
Yes, the assholes of the world will always be there, and they’ll make you feel like shit, but the more you can dismiss them as simply being judgemental assholes who know nothing about you, the more you’ll be able to see all the people who will treat you fairly. Sure, if you’ve got a terrible personality, then even those people will want to have nothing to do with you, but if you control the things you can control, there are a lot of people in the world who will see that and think well of you for it.
I had similar experiences in my youth and it definitely warped my perception of self-worth. It took a long time to overcome.
Incels.
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Yeah. Eliot Rodgers was a prime example.
Honestly I looked weird mid puberty and it took me a long time to learn I’m fairly attractive. I’m not like supermodel hot or anything but it’s fair to say I’m pretty in buffalo. You can always find flaws in the mirror, the people on tv do every day. I choose not to. My wife doesn’t mind them, my girlfriend doesn’t mind them either, and neither do the women I do casual stuff with. I get a lot more benefit from doing other things with my mental energy.
I used to work with two guys I called “Tall Todd” and “Tall Paul”. Both were really smart and part of our IT department. Both in shape-ish, skinny, very tall.
Paul was conventionally hot - his side job was modeling, he made money at it and I did once unexpectedly see him on a national advertisement. Hot, you understand? He was nice, friendly, I wasn’t attracted to him but could see he was physically really good looking, and was outgoing and pleasant, creative guy, good Halloween costumes.
Tall Todd wasn’t good looking like that, and had the additional baggage of being named Todd, but had this way of existing in the world that was just so comfortable and made you feel comfortable. I think when people say confidence this is what they mean - not cockiness but this self acceptance. He was just so attractive without being physically attractive - he wasn’t ugly exactly but unremarkable in looks. But goodness he was attractive in real life. Magnetic.
I do not know how people get that sort of confidence but it’s not by being really good looking.
Being tall is like 75% of being physically attractive according to most surveys.
If you’re over 6’ the “how tall are you” is either the first or second question on every date along with “what do you do for work”
It’s kinda sad how predictable we can be as animals
It’s interesting how bad I’m getting downvoted…
It is acceptable to say rich people, white people, men have a natural advantage.
But saying pretty people also have an advantage is horrible…
Lol
Being rich is not natural. And it’s a red flag because you don’t get rich without being an asshole.
I had a friend in college like Todd. Weird looking dude, but every time you talked to him you just felt good. He was fun to talk to and interesting but a good listener too. You were just happy to have spent time talking to him. Now I’m not into guys so I can’t say subjectively if that made him attractive, but based on what I’d heard he had all the men and women he wanted throwing themselves at him, and I believe it.
And for the people saying your friend was leaning on height, this guy was about the height of the average woman and hung out with a lady over 6’
People absolutely get that kind of confidence by being really good looking…
What you found was an outlier, a unicorn. It happens but that in no way changes reality.
You can also get that kind of confidence by not worrying about where you fall on the attractiveness scale. I like to think I’m that way. If I wanted to I could definitely pick out things that might make me ugly, but I don’t worry about it. I care more about the interactions I have with people than I do about how I physically look. The only things about my appearance that give me a degree of confidence are just things that amuse me, like that I always wear the same color scheme or that my normal and facial hair differ in color and texture.
I can think of at least two of my friends who also share the quality of being comfortable and self accepting despite not being physically attractive, and I really enjoy being friends with them.
I guess my appearance is just otherworldly towards ugliness…
TWO WHOLE FRIENDS! Stop the presses!
The research has been done on this. The undeniable fact is “pretty” people have a clear advantage in life.
I know that may make you feel uncomfortable, but it’s the truth. The same as being poor is a disadvantage so is being ugly.
Just like someone who grows up poor can overcome it, so can ugly people. But that doesn’t mean the disadvantage isn’t there…
You called one person being that way an outlier, so I added three more from my own experience (two friends and myself.)
And yeah, maybe that is still an outlier. I’m willing to accept that, because I have something that might explain why it’s more common with the people I know. The three of us are part of a Christian fellowship, and Phillipians 3:3 says we have confidence in Christ and not the flesh - interestingly enough, I literally just got back from a Bible study with that group where we hit that verse.
I have this strange suspicion that you find yourself to be ugly.
This wasn’t the point as i read, the question was about confidence. And this has little to do with how “pretty” you are. Your confidence is only in your mind. Sure if others think of you as ugly, it’s harder to gain confidence. But I think especially a lot of girls have confidence issues with their appearance despite looking “good”.
- Finds unicorn in reality.
- “No, no—but this doesn’t change reality.”
You do understand what an outlier is? Did you not take basic math in high school?
I mean damn, I know this is the Internet, but I thought Lemmy users could understand basic statistics…
You also feel that because one person won the lottery every can/should?
Being ugly is a disadvantage, like other disadvantages (poor, stupid,etc) it can be overcome. But that doesn’t change the fact that it is one.
Did you not take basic math in high school?
Have you? Where is your data that indicates this is an outlier?
Wasting your time arguing with that one, he’s likely already back in front of his mirror to stare at his hideous visage and silently judge himself.
Unfortunately :/
Visual pushback against bad ideas can be good for a community, though. I dunno. Mostly, I just wish people would stop being so doomer.
lemme google that (or duck duck go) for you…
https://www.vice.com/en/article/epz8pk/psychology-pretty-privilege-attractive-people
https://www.science.org/content/article/scienceshot-brain-rewards-us-looking-pretty-faces
I mean common sense would help you with your denial. But there are dozens of other links if you go look.
Let’s see.
Article 1: “pretty privilege exists.”
Article 2: “pretty privilege exists.”
Article 3: “pretty face privilege exists.”
None of these indicate that being seen and rewarded for being a relaxed, confident, comfortable guy is an outlier thing that rarely happens.
Also, I asked for data, not articles.
Women out there are still complaining they can find a bf when all they have to do is say something vaguely nice to a guy and he’ll marry you.
eh… women are mostly complaining because they struggle to find men they’d want to date, not because they think men won’t date them.
Well, I hate to break it to ya, but not every woman is going to get to marry a 6-6-6 just like not every man is going to marry a 10.
Additionally, most women would probably be better off marrying a man who WANTS to date them rather than trying to get one who doesn’t.
You’re missing the point by a mile. It’s not about physical attraction, finances, or even the types of men just looking for a one-night stand. There are many men who want to be in long-term relationships, but don’t put in the effort necessary to keep that relationship alive and healthy.
Men benefit from long-term relationshipsbmore than women; a woman’s workload actually increases because she’s usually the one tasked with managing the home and all of the emotional and physical labor that comes with that… even when she already has a full-time job.
In order for a woman to want to be with a man, he needs to positively affect her life overall. So many men simply do not do that. That is the barrier to entry, and it is far from an unreasonable one. It’s generally easier and more desirable to be single than it is to be in a relationship with a man.
Nice guy comment
Yes, how dare I suggest women date someone who will appreciate them instead of someone who won’t.
Patriarchy! Toxic masculinity! Guilty as charged, Mr. Officer, off to feminist jail I go.
dont get your fedora in a twist dude.
Maybe the kind of man they want to date is a man that isn’t an asshole. Especially not one who sees a woman who is not conventionally attractive and thinks, “yeah, I could fuck that.”
You know, there’s a simple solution to that, which women in the past had no trouble understanding: just put sex off the table until there’s a ring on your finger. That’s it. That’ll immediately eliminate any guy who’s only looking to up his notch count, as long as you actually stick to it and don’t just use it as a fake excuse to eliminate the weaklings.
Just thinking out loud, of course. I would not dream of telling what to do with their bodies.
Not finding out if you’re sexually compatible is a terrible idea. There’s a happy medium between “fuck immediately” and “don’t fuck for years.”
most “ugly” people put themselves into a box. take care of yourself, wash your face, brush your teeth, eat somewhat decently, put minimal effort into your appearance, and have a speck of self confidence and you can change your world.
I know it can be daunting especially if you have legitimate mental health issues that affect how you view yourself but trust me theres very few “ugly” looking people in this world and most of them still make it work by having a good decent personality.
Most people are ugly because they have a ugly personality.
Most people are ugly because they have a ugly personality.
Are you japanese or something? I swear I heard this from an entertainer from there when she asked her boss why was everyone so pretty at the company.
no ive just been lucky to meet truly beautiful and gorgeous people who are not conventionally considered “attractive.”
LOL
Ah blame the ugly people! That’ll show em!
thanks for proving my point champ
That you’re lying to make yourself feel better? Umm ok
Have fun wallowing in self pity.
Actually, I’m above average in looks, but I don’t need to lie about it being an advantage. I also have empathy for other humans, so I treat them with respect by not blaming them for their disadvantage…
i don’t remember blaming or lacking empathy for people who are perceived as ugly.
In fact its funny that you say that people with looks that aren’t conventionally “attractive” are “disadvantaged.” which by the way is a fucking awful way to look at people.
It proves my point that you arent ugly because of how you look but how you act and to me thats what makes you ugly.
and you are quite an ugly cunt
Now try being an ugly woman
As long you are only ugly on the outside, it’s just a matter of getting used to it.
This is true. I think I could probably get it up for anyone who’s truly awesome.
At least they get makeup.
Oh, shit, that’s right, make up is chemically corrosive to men’s skin, we can’t use it.
Have you tried dating sites? I can’t even get “ugly” women to respond to me so they must have “better options” reaching out to them or I really am just that undesirable lol
Being an ugly woman is not nearly the struggle that being an ugly man is. Women who aren’t attractive need to approach at all and they’ll have more success than ugly men who approach twice as often.
You just wanna do it on easy mode or what?
Being ugly is really fucking hard, until you go full Tyrion and wear it like armor.
I must be uglier than that guy because no one has ever said anything nice about me when I share pics. :(
Have you tried making a video reaching 20m views?
Post pic, I won’t marry you but I will say something nice.
Have Casey Neistat’s ugly ass can be happy so can this guy.
He looks like someone I’d make on one of those character creators that let you morph the face when I’m high af.
Some women are based. They’re just like “I’m gonna find a partner and just go hard. Let’s look on social media. Bam. Found one.” You have to appreciate, nay - be in respect and awe of the pure gall, the nerve, the gumption of this lady, the globes on this bitch. She made a life like it was nothing. I am intimidated, elated and my breath has been taken away.
God speed, dear lady. God speed…
Uhhhhh what the fuck?
It’s what you say when someone married a person they saw on you tube
Hens tooth but okay
That’s a good story. I wish them a lot of happy years together.
That website has some wild articles. I read through the train of like 4 articles below this one.
Right? I read your comment and was like…psh can’t be that strange, so I went into this prepared to read a few articles.
Read about a dude who lived his whole life and died without ever seeing a woman. He was in his 80’s! That’s wild.
Was he a monk? Because that sounds familiar.
Yeah I think he was a monk.
He’s not even ugly, he just needs a better haircut and a tan lol
Haircut sure, tan tho?? What are you 45? He also needed some different glasses and maybe hit the gym more. I hate how that makes me sound haha
Hitting the gym and a little more thought into his dressing?
What are you a womanizer red pill guru?! Next thing you know this guy is spinning 5 plates of spaghetti.
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Sure, dad. 😒
