- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
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The ‘you might change your mind’ attitude is the one that frustrates me the most. People make decisions they regret all the time and we don’t prevent every little regrettable thing from happening. Let these people make the decision for themselves and if they regret it you can say “I told you so” and you can continue being the jerk you are.
My mom knows that I absolutely do not want kids. Like, the idea of being a parent makes me feel physically ill. She is still hoping that she’ll get grandchildren. Last time she told me she’s still hopeful that I’ll change my mind, I got rude and told her to fuck off with that shit. I told her that she needs to keep that kind of thing to herself and that telling me that repeatedly feels very disrespectful.
That was about 6 months ago. She hasn’t brought it up since. This branch of the family tree ends with me and that’s totally fine imo. Everything has to end eventually. My mom’s in total denial about that fact.
You can’t get yourself sterilised in case some future man wants to use your baby factory.
Chilling.
This happened to me in the USA. I told the doctor I want to be sterilized and neither my husband nor I wanted kids.
He told me it would be unethical. My husband might die and then my new husband would want children. I told him I would not change my mind, and such a man would be incompatible for marriage with me. He told me I’d change my mind. So basically, yes some hypothetical future man would want to use me for a baby factory, that’s why I can’t be sterilized.
I was 30. I’m older now, still don’t want them. I’m too ashamed to ask again for sterilization. My husband has a vasectomy scheduled soon (weird how a doctor had no problem doing that for him. Wonder what the difference is???)
Get that OB/GYN’s statement in writing and then report him.
It was years ago.
Easier said than done, anyway. I was just shocked he said that. I’m sure if I wanted his statement in writing he would have written something like “I don’t recommend this for women who have not yet had children because there are plenty of other effective treatments like [etc]” and nobody would care.
Someone at my work was told something similar by a different doctor (in a different state!) that he wouldn’t sterilize her because she wasn’t married. She had 3 children already in her mid twenties.
Pushing back on this stuff is a battle that shouldn’t have to take place on the personal level. We’re going backwards in women’s healthcare in America, too.
OP, the title of this post is a phrase that doesn’t appear in the article. Could you update it to the article’s actual title?
‘I felt like a freak because I didn’t want children’
It’s so much easier as a man to be child free, aside from women hitting on me telling me what a great dad I’d be.
Yeah, maybe I would be. Don’t want it.
Have never pursued sterilization though, might’ve gotten a small amount of the judgment women get then. Maybe.
I got a vasectomy when I was 31 and have never looked back. Would highly recommend it if you’re committed to being child free. Was a simple discussion with my (male) GP and after a few questions to make sure I understood the implications and that I had thought it through he gave me the referral.
I really feel bad for women - they have so much more stigma and a harder time with this in general, even in progressive countries.
