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The original was posted on /r/lifeprotips by /u/Edigophubia on 2024-08-22 16:18:35+00:00.

Everyone is so afraid of being embarrassed. Like it’s worse than death. Someone might find out that you are not who you want to be, that you are a phony, that you made a horrible mistake a long time ago, that you screw things up, that you are evil sometimes, that you are scared, vulnerable and that you care about things not associated with strength, etc etc etc. Everyone in the world is all these things, statistically there is no way you could be so special as to make it to adulthood without becoming pretty much all of them.

Holding these secret eggshells carefully under your feet leaves you in a constant state of anxiety and makes everyday life situations into fight or flight disasters. You could be easily taken advantage of or lose control if someone says the wrong thing.

Feeling embarrassed is not bad for your health. Crying is not bad for your health. Hating yourself, fighting yourself, and being always scared, are.

Have sympathy for all the people in the world who have put themselves out there and gotten hurt. This is part of being human. Then, have sympathy for yourself.

Sit down, breathe, and take a moment to try to let yourself feel the worst ways. Grieve the loss of never being a perfect person. Making mistakes, having been laughed at, or not measuring up to what your parents think you were supposed to be have no bearing on your ability to make good choices now, and to live your life according to your own values.

Any situation in the past where you did something you regret, you had absolutely no choice at the time because you did not have the resources or awareness to take any other action, otherwise you certainly would have! And part of life is that you will find yourself in undesirable situations where you will have no choice but to do or say something you really wish you didn’t have to.

You may have to take a new look or even abandon what you have carefully crafted as your identity in favor of something more human and nuanced. You do not have to reveal your vulnerabilities to the whole world, but you do have to reveal them to yourself.

There is no feeling or thought that anyone could possibly have that is bad. People who make poor decisions are the people who believe that a thought or feeling they were having was undesirable and needed to be destroyed with action.

Be your own friend. It takes time and practice but it will make you stronger than 90% of the population.