- cross-posted to:
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- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
Image description:
Depicted in the image is Sisyphus pushing his legendary boulder up a hill, written in the boulder are the words, “The fucking dishes and the fucking laundry.”
End image description.
Straight up though I recently learned a really weird way of editing pictures for creative distortion (it involves Audacity (the sound editor)) and I straight up forgot to do both before work.
Yesterday and today.
Good news is I learned a lot on how editing those pictures works. Bad news is tonight’s dinner was cereal eaten out of a mug with a fork.
The biggest thing that helped me: do the chore when you see it. Stop everything and do it now. Not “later” cuz later never comes. Now, because now is all you have
But then the task you stop becomes something that you forget about
When my wife asks me to grab her something, she always says, “You don’t have to do it right now.”
Yes I do, or it’s never getting done
Ok, so what do you do when you notice chores while in the middle of other chores?
Just do one thing at a time. You’re not cleaning a room, you’re putting this one object where it belongs.
Many tiny tasks are less daunting than one large task, and our brains like completing many small tasks.
You are describing how to overcome aversion to large or complex tasks, which is great if you can stay focused long enough to implement it.
The last D in ADHD is the part where it is a disorder and cannot be solved by approaching the same thing with a different view. The hyperfocus and inattention makes breaking things into smaller parts even harder to complete a large task because there are even more opportunities for distraction.
Well ADHD isn’t one thing to everyone who has it. It’s a whole set of symptoms and everyone who has it has each of those things to a variable degree. For some people with ADHD doing tasks right away can be helpful. Other people need lists, other people need a reminder system. Coping mechanisms don’t work universally. What’s important is that you experiment and try them out until you find something that helps
Edit: and to answer your original question. I let myself get distracted. The dishes will just be half done the next time I see them. And oh look I already did the countertops too, great
I’m not sure where you got the idea that approaching things from a different viewpoint isn’t an effective coping mechanism for ADHD, but you’re mistaken.
Different ways of approaching things can be effective coping mechanisms, but the specific one for breaking chores up into smaller chores is not about completing multiple different chores. It does nothing to address getting sidetracked and never completing the main chore you started on because you did a bunch of non-essential things that you noticed.
Example of someone who just does whatever chore is in front of them when they notice it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbSehcT19u0
It does address it because it approaches chores in a different way. Instead of a few BIG chores, you now have many small ones that can be done mostly at any time. That way you can go and do multiple different chores and it doesn’t matter if you bounce around from room to room as long as forward progress is being made.
As an added bonus, you get a little bit of a dopamine hit when you complete the tasks.
Did you watch the video?
You should watch the video.
Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/watch?v=AbSehcT19u0
https://piped.video/watch?v=AbSehcT19u0
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source, check me out at GitHub.
Well I move on to that chore, and and cycle continues until it’s end of day, I’m sweaty, and I tell myself it was worth it, only to have to repeat it next week!
So basically this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbSehcT19u0
Yeah, that is the definition of not managing ADHD.
Ha, too close to heart
Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/watch?v=AbSehcT19u0
https://piped.video/watch?v=AbSehcT19u0
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source, check me out at GitHub.
Yep. Like folding the laundry as soon as you take them out of the dryer is a habit that has really helped with the problem of having wrinkled laundry laying about in the hamper all week.
You eventually get into the habit of doing “micro chores” as you’re just moving about the house
Now, increase the size of the boulder, increase the slope of the hill, and decrease the dudes muscles/strength, and this will be an exact representation :(
Haha! That’s happened to me quite often. I’m busy building a Docker container management app and have a sink full of dishes…
Let’s just say I’m on a bit of a side quest currently while avoiding my server
It needs it’s data properly consolidated so that I no longer have mismatched data pools before I can go about fixing the Docker containers.
Right now the best description of what my Docker setup looks like is 2 cargo ships crashed into each other but still somehow floating.
It’s probably a 2 day journey to fix it.
The good news is day one is just data migration (can only copy at gigabit speeds‡), the bad news is day two is everything else. ★
‡ I can only copy at gigabit speeds due to a lack of sata ports (poor planning) and the fastest data interface on the machine being Ethernet (really old machine and poor planning)
★ This is all of course part of a larger plan to completely rebuild it as a new system by the end of the year.
I watch something on YouTube while doing them. Putting the dishes away essentially takes place of my fidgeting.
Would maybe a dishwasher help out in situations like that?
I have a really hard time focusing if the floors are dirty, and I happen to have a husky. When he sheds the floors are permanently dirty. A robot vacuum really helped that though, so now the floors are a non-issue.
I guess the important thing is to strike a good balance. My old robot vacuum required maintenance pretty much after every run, I recently upgraded and this one requires me to fill a water tank twice a week, and some light maintenance once every two weeks. It’s a lot more useful and lets me put my focus on other things.
Well, we have a dishwasher and I guess it maybe helps a little? The plates still stack, though it is a bit easier to convince yourself to just put them in the dishwasher real quick, takes less than 10 minutes, than washing them by hand.
Sure until there is a clean load in the washer and you can’t put them back but you can clean the dirty ones until you do.
And I’m done cases the kitchen is to dirty to put the clean dishes back so you have to just hope for a dish fairy to do it so you can get unblocked.
No, because you have to remember to run and unload it. Then the dishes pile up while you wait to unload it.
So my tips for doing these chores:
Always have your Bluetooth headphones on and a podcast to listen to while doing chores.
Smells make chores like this better. Make sure you have those nice smell sprinkle tablet things you put in your washing machine - it’s nice to take clothes out and then fold them when they smell good.
Get some decent washing up liquid that you love to smell. Consider having a couple of different scents to switch it up
Bluetooth Earbuds are amazing. I recently bought a pair and chores are so much bearable, still a pain but far easier than without them.
I honestly don’t mind chores so much, because they keep me actively while I’m listening to a podcast!
I really need to do my laundry… 😮💨
Dishes ain’t a problem for me when I have a working dishwasher.
at least laundry machines you can just dump your shit into and press go, dishwashers need careful loading and unloading which is hell
What!? Laundry is way worse than dishwashers. It’s a 3-4 hour time commitment that needs to be repeated if you don’t complete it in ~8 hours.
- You can forget about dishes for a day and they will still be clean the next.
- If you forget clothes in the washing machine for a day, they need to be washed again because they smell bad.
- If they are kept in the dryer too long they need to be run through another cycle because of wrinkles.
- You then need to fold them them and put them away.
I would gladly never do laundry again and only use the dishwasher for the rest of my life.
LPT, don’t run your clothes through a full cycle to dewrinkle.
Throw in a wet rag and put it on low for ~30m. This will also soften hang dried clothes and remove pet hair.
Hm, i don’t see it as a time commitment because i don’t spend that much time away from home anyways and thus the only time spent on it is putting it in and taking it out along with setting an alarm so i remember to move it to the drier and then take it out, i also don’t care about wrinkles in clothes because i’m not a victorian noble.
As for folding, again we’re not victorian nobles so just roll shit up and stuff it in the drawer, it’s fine.
True. But on the other hand, at least when you forget about a load of dishes, you still have clean dishes. Forget about a load of laundry and you’re right back to where you started.
Good washer-driers are had to find but being able to put a single cycle on and come back to fully washed and dried clothing is a huge improvement for ADHD folk over having washing and drying as a two separate processes. Definitely worth the investment.
Oh yeah. I suppose this is very much a North America problem where most of us have a separate washer and dryer and are required to move from one to the other in between. A washer/condensing dryer would certainly fix this. Unfortunately, I rent so there’s no chance of me getting one.
In the UK rental properties nearly always include space for a washer and landlords are almost always thrilled when you say “hey, I have my own machine I want to put wear on instead of yours so could you please take that one out.”
I wish I’d focus on my creative projects…
I guess the medication worked after all, I wasn’t so convinced at first. But now that I don’t have it anymore, I definitely feel the difference.
The medicine gives you a normal amount of focus, which isn’t magical or anything. That is why you don’t notice it until you don’t have it.
Like water or food, you don’t know what you are missing until you have enough and then don’t.
I think I also just need therapy to learn habits with which I can make the best use out of these meds
I am on medication because I couldn’t stay focused long enough to develop some habits. Now I can still do them even without medication because of being able to develop them and enough repetition, but medication still helps with developing new habits!
It definitely helped with some things, but not so much with others. Is to be expected, though.
Anyhow, I’ll talk to my doctor about it, how to proceed. Methylphenidate didn’t feel all too right to me, even if some things worked, like craving less sugar
That’s what medication is ultimately for. To help you learn those habits.
Sometimes i think you guys are just extra lazy.
I expend all of my energy acting like a functional member of society and don’t have anything left when I get home.
For laundry, i wear basic stuff or second hand and buy 4x the amount I need so I can run a wash once every 2 or 3 weeks. As for dishes, learn to use a dish washer. have only 1 set of dishes that i wash every day so they stay in the washer. If this is too much then just get disposable stuff.
What if I’m too poor to afford a dishwasher and the space for 2/3 weeks of clothing?
Then you just get disposable stuff to eat on and rewear the same thing you wore 5 days in a row. So like how some of you here do now
Oh cool, the ones with the PFAs?
Do you use nonstick pans to cook food? What about shampoo/conditioner to wash your hair? Do you use laundry detergent to wash your clothes? Do you wipe your ass with toilet paper? All of these have PFAs. If your worry is that paper plates might have it, then your worries might be a little misguided considering you dont have enough money to buy a dishwasher.
How often would you say that you consume toilet paper, or anything on toilet paper? Why are you implying that minimizing the consumption of PFAs is a futile attempt, any attempt to minimize it should be a priority.