Technically I am cis-Mexican, but I have a problem accepting a very big part of the culture, namely catrinas - which to my knowledge, essentially symbolize that idea of “death being inevitable”. I have always been very staunchly pro-immortality and don’t believe that death should be accepted as inevitable. When it comes to Day of the Dead, I don’t mind celebrating and reconnecting with spirits, in fact I think that’s beautiful. But the philosophy that “death comes to us all” is something I strongly reject, and have for as long as I remember. Even as a toddler, my parents would put decorations in the house and the calacas/catrinas iconography always frightened me and made me uncomfortable. I don’t mean any disrespect to those who believe in that philosophy, but it’s not my philosophy, and my beliefs often makes me feel like I’m a “bad” Mexican. There are so many other things about Mexican culture I love and enjoy, and I wish I could fully embrace the culture. but because I have this criticism of a large part of the culture it makes me feel like I’m not a “good” or “real” Mexican, or worse, racist, and I really hope this post won’t come across as racist. So, is it okay for me to criticize such a big part of the culture? I think life is beautiful and should be celebrated, but death is also sad, and it’s okay to fear death and want to abolish involuntary death. Or is my understanding of the culture wrong? I wish at least I knew other Mexicans who felt the same way ;~; if i knew other Mexicans who felt the same way, I would be relieved…
I relate to this feeling so much. I feel like a bad Ndn and a bad Irishman because there are parts of my cultures I don’t practice, ascribe to, or even know about. And what if you have multiple cultures with contradictory elements? Culture can be a difficult thing.
I am an ex-Catholic satanist and modern gnostic and I’m Potawatomi. I take pride in going against Christian ideals, and I see the Christian god as a flawed, tragic being, not someone to be looked up to. The Potawatomi Great Spirit, the creator, is too close to the Christian god for my comfort. It flooded the world. It punished men. Eagle had to convince it not to kill us all. I do not want to revere judgmental, violent forces. A lot of ndns wouldn’t take this story literally but it still represents an idea I don’t connect with: that we are better off dead if we are not traditional and obedient. I rejected traditional Christianity for a reason. I cannot make the same mistake just because I deeply want to reconnect with my Potawatomi heritage. There is more to being Potawatomi than trying to conform perfectly to a culture that cannot be conformed to because people are naturally varied. I respect my culture by trying to connect and I respect myself by having boundaries between myself and the culture.
There is always so much more to a culture than one story or even one important value. Cultures are so complex and can change quickly. Even deeply important values can change quickly. Cultures will always have their own critics because that’s how life is. There will always be divergent people and sometimes these people become highly regarded as wise people, innovators, and eccentrics. If you are Mexican then you are Mexican, even if you’re different. Existing differently is brave and you should be proud for being special. A part of you has existed in the face of difficulty and isolation and that means you are strong. The part of you that fears death deserves love. It is yours. Accept it as you want others to accept you.