I might as well go first:

Thou shalt seed what you download (You’ll understand in a few thousand years)

Thou shalt not push to prod on Fridays

• Do not treat people or animals as things
• Consent first from others, especially your family
• The Earth and it’s creatures should be shepherded and guarded, not exploited
• No gods, no kings, no rulers - instead have empathy, sharing, and collaboration
• It’s round you nimrods, because that’s how gravity works

11. [my actual name here] is your lord, savior, and 4th form of god, and shall be treated as such.
12. Sinning is the 12th form of liberalism
13. Join an org (mine, preferrably)
14. There can be no peace so long as hunger and want are found among millions of the working people and the few, who make up the employing class, have all the good things of life.
15. Thou shalt seed more than thou downloads, unless thou ist [my actual name here].

The five missing ones are:

11. Acknowledge the central point.
12. Thou shalt not soapbox.
13. Thou shalt not decontextualise what others say.
14. Thou shalt not claim intentions to defend thine or someone else’s actions.
15. Thou shalt not convey “I disagree” through feigned lack of understanding.

Bonus: the original version of the 8th was

8. Thou shalt not claim with certainty things that you do not know for certain.

The current 8th (Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour) is a forgery. Some assumer got called out over and over because of the older 8th, since he really liked to make shit up, so he restricted it into near uselessness. Source: I’m Lucifer, I know it. :^)

Thou shalt not fuck kids. They definitely meant for that to be in there, right? Guys…?

One saying slavery shouldn’t happen would be nice.

They’re on the prop from Mel Brooks’ History of the World Part I

The ones that make the most sense to me as stuff Moses might say.

1. Thou shalt trust honest people, for why would one be honest if nothing comes from it

2. Thou shalt not assume things, to assume is often more destructive than lying

3. Thou shalt not cheat in games and anything with a justified set list of rules

4. Thou shalt not intentionally cause mental illness, for it is equal to murder

5. Thou shalt not gatekeep or deny another person’s rightful union

Thou shalt not be cruel

Thou shalt not oppress your fellow man

Thou shalt not put yourself before your brethren

Thou shalt not think only of yourself

Thou shalt not live in a disordered home, nor shall you allow the cities you live in to become disorderly due to your own lack of action

Final line:

Now remember, these are just guidelines, you don’t have to take them too seriously, have some fun with them, that’s why I made you.

Thou who smelt it, thine own self dealt it.

Don’t take the Bible too literally

Thou shall not attempt to make a business out of this using the medium of broadcast images and shouting.

Thou shalt not kill