A few months ago, there was a post on the antifeminist sub. The post was a screenshot from an incel website that was posted on the Nothowgirlswork sub. There was a comment from nothowgirlswork which roasted the incel post.

The incel said he felt anxiety when he walked on the streets and saw women. The comment from nothowgirlswork was ridiculing him for feeling fear of women. He didn’t say anything misogynistic. There are some incels (on incel websites) who condone horrible things like raping women. This post was not like that.

It made me think that society expects men to be fearless and brave. Men are human and fear is a normal emotion that everyone has. It’s normal to feel anxiety around women, if the man has been traumatized in the past. Maybe the incel was traumatized by a woman in the past. People shouldn’t judge someone without knowing them.

The truth is women can be just as dangerous as men. Society has to stop thinking women are not as dangerous.

If a woman said she felt anxiety around men, redditors would be supporting her. They would say men are rapists and she should be scared of them. She would get all the empathy and sympathy. Reddit shows what people think secretly. Many people in society have this double standard too.

          • Aesthesiaphilia@kbin.social
            2·
            1 year ago

            I remember this user now. They (personally) define “misandry” as a female-led counterpart to “patriarchy”. What normal people would call a “matriarchy”, which no, doesn’t exist.

            They believe misogyny and patriarchy are the same thing, and therefore misandry and matriarchy are the same thing. And matriarchy doesn’t exist therefore misandry doesn’t exist.

            They believe misandry is SOLELY an INSTITUTIONAL structure designed to keep men down, and refuse to acknowledge that individual actions by individual women happen. I even tried to corner her on “okay, what word would you use” but she sidestepped the question multiple times.

        • Pizzafeet@kbin.social
          7·
          1 year ago

          Expecting men to behave a certain way and shaming them for not doing so is misandry. The same way shaming women who don’t want to be housewives is misogyny.

          • a-man-from-earth@kbin.social
            6·
            1 year ago

            I think that definition is too general. I definitely expect men to be honorable and keep their word, and would not feel bad for shaming them if they break it, for example.

            Your definition would lead us to have no expectations whatsoever.

            • Pizzafeet@kbin.social
              3·
              1 year ago

              Of course, though I would apply those expectations on everybody. I meant expectations based on gender such as providing, protecting, etc.

                • a-man-from-earth@kbin.social
                  11·
                  1 year ago

                  It’s a valid question. And if you insist on using terminology that is often used in a misandrist way, you better explain exactly how you view it, what your definition of it is, and what, if any, evidence there is for its existence.

                  Attempts at gaslighting us into accepting misandry are not welcome here.

                • hotpotato138@kbin.socialOP
                  7·
                  1 year ago

                  You’ve seen the evidence, you just reject it.

                  A few men being billionaires doesn’t mean patriarchy exists like the way feminists have defined it.

                  • Aesthesiaphilia@kbin.social
                    0·
                    1 year ago

                    The vast majority of billionaires being men is very different from “a few men being billionaires”.

                    Substitute billionaires with CEOs, politicians, etc

                    The patriarchy is being dismantled (thank Christ) but it’s still around. Especially among older generations.

                    And there’s a kind of neo-patriarchy being set up by Trump, Bolsonaro, etc and their followers. Abortion access in the US is a huge one.

                    And of course that’s not even mentioning open patriarchal societies like the Middle East.