Listen to this episode from If Books Could Kill on Spotify. In 1995 a bestselling book proposed a simple dating strategy for women: Lose weight, wear bright colors and become a completely different person for the rest of your life.Thanks to Moira Donegan for helping us with this episode! Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/IfBooksPodWhere to find us: TwitterPeter's other podcast, 5-4Mike's other podcast, Maintenance PhaseSources:From Front Porch to Back Seat: Courtship in Twentieth-Century America Taffy Brodesser-Akner’s essay, “Stuff Your ‘Rules’” The More Things Change: The Rules And Late Eighteenth‐Century Conduct Books For Women Shrinking Violets and Caspar Milquetoasts: Shyness and Heterosexuality from the Roles of the Fifties to "The Rules" of the Nineties From Mountain Peak to Total Woman: An Evolutionary History of Pre-feminist Dating Advice The Mating Game: How Gender Still Shapes How We Date by Ellen Lamont So Many Rules, So Little Time Abiding by The Rules: Instructing Women in Relationships What leads to romantic attraction: similarity, reciprocity, security, or beauty? Evidence from a speed-dating study "Playing Hard To Get": Understanding An Elusive Phenomenon Egalitarian Daters, Traditionalist Dates Aspirational pursuit of mates in online dating markets Disintermediating your friends: How online dating in the United States displaces other ways of meeting Playing Hard To Get  Thanks to Mindseye for our theme song!