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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/BearEatsBlueberries on 2023-10-07 17:20:01.

I’m working a boatload of overtime right now. My partner is in full agreement of me taking on this extra work and has done more around the house/with the kids.

On Tuesday, he asked me if we could host his family for the weekend as it’s Thanksgiving here. I wasn’t sure and reminded him that I was working all week plus a part day Saturday, and then back to work for another 5, busy 12 hour 7-7 day shifts, so part of Sat and all day Sun was my only time off. He said that while he’d like my help with meal planning and cooking on Sunday, he’d take care of the cleaning, shopping, meal prep, organization etc. I agreed, on the condition that he also did all the after-guest cleaning on Monday.

The house isn’t guest clean. It’s “2 working parents on a weeknight” clean. He mopped, but didn’t do a good job vacuuming first so there’s bits of dried dust streaked across the floor. The windows and mirrors are streaky. The laundry basket was on the coffee table with clean laundry, there’s a bit of cat fur on the couch, I don’t think the guest bedrooms were vacuumed, the fridge has crumbs, etc.

I didn’t tell him this, I didn’t complain to him because if we didn’t have guests it would be fine

But I just got a text from his aunt asking if my mental health is okay because she’s never seen my house this messy. Last night when I got home his mom made a comment along the lines of, “I sure can tell you’ve been putting work first lately!” and his dad and uncle cracked “jokes” about how I’m slacking because the whiskey glasses they like were dusty from months of sitting on the shelf (I would anticipate their use and dust them before they come).

So I’m fuming. Nobody said anything to him. They know he took a few days off last week. They know I’m busy working.

Why are women expected to be cleaner and tidier? Why are we held to a higher standard?

This is all bullshit.