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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/PracticeEqual on 2023-10-07 23:24:17.

I’ve been hesitating from writing this for a long time but I think today’s the day. Here it goes.

I miss my dad.

He’s alive but he just doesn’t give a shit about me or my sisters. I remember him being a caring parent when I was young but now I think I only had this perception because my mum kept stepping in and making him look good.

My dads a provider. The old school kind. And to him, that’s all a dad’s supposed to do in a family. He never hit us, which is a big thing because it’s very common practice in my culture. He raised us with good values (respect your elders, help others, be kind, save etc) but he hardly ever followed his own advice. I am in my 30s and that man has never wished me happy birthday. We weren’t well off so I didn’t expect a cake or party but a wish would’ve done wonders for my self confidence. But nope.

My dad repeatedly cheated on my mum and probably still does. Some of his mistresses (yes, plural) have been close friends of my mum which just rubs salt on a deep wound. For the longest time, he made my mum look like a crazy woman and we believed him. Looking back, I hate myself for falling for those lies but Ive grown.

I am married now to a wonderful man, I moved away from all this but I never cut ties with him. I support him financially because he retired. I am paying off his loans, the same loans I begged him not to take. I keep telling myself this is the last one but I am lying to myself.

Last week I received an amazing opportunity which I wanted to share with him so I called him, twice. He didn’t pick up. I thought he’d see my missed calls and call back. It’s been 6 days and I don’t think he’ll call back. I know his phones working because he’s always on it. Always calling and checking up on his extended family members. Always on Facebook.

I don’t think his going to call.

I am not angry, or sad, or depressed. I am just numb inside. I am just tired. I don’t hate him but being his daughter has been exhausting.

My husband comes from a warm, welcoming family. They have treated me as one of their own since day 1. My MIL has called me more times than my dad has ever in my entire life and I’ve know this woman for only a few years.

I can’t discuss these things with my lovely husband because he doesn’t get it. He still hasn’t wrapped his head around the fact that no one from my family called to wish me on my birthday. He is still pissed about that so I am keeping him away from all of this. It’s better this way.

Just wanted to get this off my chest. Not seeking advice. Just wanted to share.