I’ve been on a slow but steady decline for the past several years. I don’t move at all, barely leaving my room let alone the house; I’ve taken to eating shit I order out instead of cooking meals myself; I don’t get involved with any local orgs besides sending dues every month; I haven’t read a book in months; I regularly fail to perform bare minimum hygiene. The only reason I’m able to keep alive at all is because I haven’t moved out of my parents’ house, burdening them with helping me. It would be understandable if I was living hand to mouth and had barely any free time, but I am one of the small percent of burgers who isn’t a month away from destitution and I have more than enough free time. Not to mention I receive no shortage of help.
Since I can’t blame my material circumstances, I can only conclude that I am this way because I always refuse to take personal responsibility. I know that changing myself so that I can be, at bare minimum, not a drain on society is going to take a lot of work, work that I always put off due to cowardice. Idealist as it is, I feel like I have some innate metaphysical trait that makes me this way, and the entirety of my failure to pick myself up is due to a moral failing on my part and nothing more.
How do I force myself to unfuck myself so that I can actually be useful for revolution instead of yet another useless first world lotus eater?
Hi, I’m a student studying therapy. I just learned about this yesterday!
The emotion of discipline is “resolve”. If you are having a problem learning how to be disciplined, or cultivating discipline in your life, you should figure out how to have resolve. Learn what it feels like.
Resolve comes from when you really want to do something. You feel excited and motivated to do it. In order to develop a discipline, you should find something you feel resolved towards and take a “snapshot” of that feeling. Remember it.
Every day, every morning, think about that feeling, and pick something small to apply that to. Try to intentionally do that for about a month. Develop discipline for something small. Then, as you get better at that, you can level up to more difficult things to have discipline with.
I never thought of it like that until seeing your comment. “Discipline” always makes me cringe because it has connotations like the issue is me, that it’s an internal or personal failing, that I’m not trying hard enough, etc. Thinking of it as “resolve”, though, really does make it feel more like I’m surviving, I’m pushing through, I’m overcoming. Be it a mental block or all the external bullshit we have to endure. I think I’ll quit thinking of it as me lacking self-discipline, and try thinking of it as building greater resolve now. Thank you :)