Tiring times in the world right now. I am extremely mad at how Palestina gets covered here and how we are watching a genocide unfold while accepting everything the IDF puts forwards as true. I honestly think I can’t get back to normal after seeing the shit that has happened in the past weeks. How can I ever act normal to people who are casually accepting genocide as the right thing to do?
But personally I feel like doing okay. I tackled some problems I had a while ago and so far things seem to go right. I’m even starting to make some sort of plan for the next few years about where I want to end up. The options I have in mind are somewhere along the Atlantic Ocean in Europe, a certain European island or somewhere more remote in a forest. But we’re talking about between now and ten years. My job and my health are doing okay as well.
Even politics seem positive because according to the polls our party is now standing at 14% of the votes and the campaign hasn’t even started. We’re doing so well that other parties are now talking about excluding is from results lol.
How about you?
I’ve got the vid. It’s fuckings sucks, can’t sleep, can’t relax, throat kills, head hurts. Should have worn a fucking mask at the work gathering. Dumb.
Hope you recover soon. Covid’s still around. Thanks for reminding me to still take it seriously.
I’m more tired and busy than I’ve ever been with party work + normal life, but it’s all very worth it. I don’t know what else to do after all. I’ve been trying to ensure I do take care of my other responsibilities as well though. It’s just been straight march after march after march after forum after march, but who am I to complain when people over the world are fighting for their Liberation, and paying the ultimate price?
I’ve been able to get a close friend of mine into more party events, and so it’s good to have people to discuss Socialism with IRL outside of organizing. I recently discovered someone I knew in Highschool is a zionist 🤮🤢, and was posting nonstop zionist garbage. The tragic thing is that they were the child of a South American immigrant, smh. I don’t know what the line is between working with someone where they are VS being actively hostile to them.
I had an unfortunate experience with someone I was seeing casually for a bit, and that’s been quite a learning experience. I luckily have a supportive support system I think, so we’ll see how things pan out.
Glad to hear you’re doing okay, and the party work you’re up to sounds very exciting :). I’m debating if I want to start posting pictures of events and stuff that I go to on here, but I’m mulling it over…
I hate to sound like an attention seeker, but things have been real shitty for me mentally recently. I was feeling pretty jaded and depressed already for a while now, but since the escalation in Palestine my mental health has been going downhill really fast. What was happening in Palestine was bad enough as it is, but now the zionists are turning their criminal aggression up to 11 and the whole world is cheering on them.
I hardly talk to anyone now other than my gf and my coworkers pretty much. I don’t know how I will be able to cope with this whole situation.
I hate to sound like an attention seeker, but
https://littleredschoolhouse.libsyn.com/61-how-capitalism-distorts-our-feelings
got started on meds last week and so far they haven’t been working. the thought of doing college again is stress inducing and i’ve never gotten over it.
i started dieting maybe a week ago and already seeing some small, incremental results. writing is still difficult because i need to shut down my ego more or less
Tired and barely able to get off my phone, but I went to a pro Palestine protest a couple days ago and it was nice.
Imagine having so many goals for yourself only to know that climate change is inevitably going to fuck up the world in the years to come.
That’s how I feel.
Holy shit that 14% is awesome, fuck yeah!!!
All things considered I’m pretty decent.
spoiler
Yeah the al Aqsa response has fucked me up. I’ve spent my whole life feeling complicated and oftentimes ignoring my roots because it was too personal to engage with, I’m learning basic things this Israel v Palestine news cycle that I haven’t before. The first 4 days I did nothing but pace around religiously read Palestinian telegrams make war music and drink. And now I feel myself clocking back out again, no amount of music or graffiti or talking to the people around me about it makes me feel less powerless. It’s also weird because it really highlights the rift between me and my dad and most of his family (my Palestinian side), I tried to talk with him about it and he seemed disinterested in talking to me. There’s a whole slew of reasons though.
Other than that okay, I got arrested but I might qualify for pretrial intervention (no jail, dropped charges, just about $600 in fees, probation and community service, which sucks but is better than minimum 3 months maximum 3 years in prison). I really worked some Machiavellian muscles on the cops, it felt like good practice. I managed to avoid several other charges…suffice to say it could have been much much worse. If there is still a God I thank them.
I’ve stopped smoking weed (incoming random drug tests, but I was heading that direction already anyways) so I’ve been emotionally processing the last 2 years for the first proper time. I’m crying a lot and rewatching Breaking Bad.
I got a new job, hazmat removal, mildly interesting, more importantly it actually pays decent, I might be able to actually slowly pay off my debts and work towards my goals instead of treading water indefinitely.
Many of my coworkers at my first job rap or produce and I’m excited to work with them.
One of my coworkers I got into a pretty heated argument yesterday, 3 different people all tried to deescalate. He was being very disrespectful but I kept cool enough. I’m very disappointed, I liked the guy, I hope we can mano y mano and squash it but I’m not sure it will be worth it.
I get lonely romantically and sexually, but I’ve discovered I have no business being on dating sites et. al. right now, it just leaves me feeling worse whether its success or failure. I wish I could just turn off the feeling for 6 months or so and not be bothered by it.
Quitting smoking (cigarettes too) has made my voice much better and I think my future singing work will go from a D+ to a B.
I helped my ex move, she was in a dangerous situation. It was the first time I’ve seen her since last March. It was hard but it was also okay.
I saw my brother with my family recently. We had Mexican 😎 I’m always amicable to some Mexican. But I always overspicy my mouth with the salsas and then have to HAHHH HAHHH HAHHH 🥵 before I can eat my actual entree 😅
Thanks for always asking us!
It sounds like you are welcoming positive changes in your life and that is good to see. Keep up the work ✊🏻
Thank you, you too!
The first 4 days I did nothing but pace around religiously read Palestinian telegrams make war music and drink. And now I feel myself clocking back out again,
Real. I read all the telegram messages the first few days. Then I got like four days behind and had to catch up. Now I have 512 notifications and I don’t know if I’ll bother looking at them. I figure most important developments that aren’t just “more rockets launched, more martyrs” will show up on Lemmygrad.
I’m glad to see some things are looking up for you, comrade.
Yeah same. And thank you!!
Trying to balance my emotional engagement with this and also finding things that actually fill my battery. It’s really hard to enjoy things right now because it feels like escapism. But I’m learning more and more about myself; that if I’m not nurturing my joy as well, my usefulness to anybody really suffers.
I’m well. Went to a pro-Palestine rally yesterday, have a flash-protest today (meaning off of social media to prevent pig presence), have one tomorrow, and am going to the national march on Nov. 4th that I posted a few days ago.
The protest today is at a “defense” manufacturing company which is producing weapons and vehicles being used in Israel at this moment. A few parties I’m involved with are organizing it.
There seems to be a lot more support for Palestine than I imagined. We got lots of supportive honks yesterday. There were a few zionist apologist counter-protestors but they were vastly outnumbered. It’s pretty cool to see.
I’m getting very involved in everything organizing and I love it. On a personal level, I’m doing well too. Sober for 75 days, feeling great. Just got back from a nephrologist and it looks like my kidneys are healing from the meth use. Schooling is going decent and I’m finding a lot of good connections through party activities. Things are looking up.
Only complaint is the relative alienation I have in my community. It’s a crackerburb. I have to drive a good 30 minutes before I get to anyone who thinks like us. Other than that, I’m chilling.
Glad to hear things aren’t horrible for you. Keep it up with the party stuff, that’s really encouraging to hear. 14% is insane, genuinely. Doesn’t sound like a lot but for a European/Western nation that’s brilliant.
Good to see you having a positive streak, and great to see you organizing as well. I’m glad you find orgs to be with.
Congrats on the sobriety as well. As someone who had to clean themselves of drug use I know how hard it can be and 75 days is huge.
Keep moving 💪🏼
Much love to you, comrade. Keep the head up
Congrats on the sobriety! I have 11 days sober from alcohol as of today, stay strong comrade ;) By the way, I’ve been thinking of starting a sober community, would you mind if I PMd you when I do? I’m going to try and grow it into a small, but active communuty hopefully.
That’s fucking great, the first days are the hardest. Keep going, it gets better I swear.
That would be awesome! Definitely hit me up whenever.
I had a nice week :D
I wouldn’t want you to have it any other way
I’m doing pretty good, apart from the fact that I got into a heated argument with my father the other day
Haven’t been the same since my org dissolved
Pretty good, but wanted to say I really appreciate this place and your work here. Just casually talking here is a breath of fresh air, so thank you.
✊🏻
It’s not quite a substitute for friends/family/irl community but it is definitely the next best thing, DEFINITELY way better than any other “social” media.
Had to rush my dog to an emergency vet yesterday, she was bleeding a LOT and it looks like the cost of sutures and follow on care is going to wipe out my savings. I’ll be able to rebuild it, and obviously I’m glad my girl is okay, but shit fucking sucks nonetheless.
I fucking drank some water and now I have a sore throat. It was bottled ater too, so I don’t know if that means the whole company is bad or what. I felt it immediately too.
