Insufficient information. Need to know the physician’s gang affiliation.
Does the patient look like a bitch?
Unconscious and pathetic on a hospital bed? Yeah, kinda. /s
W-w-what?
ENGLISH! MOTHERF#$KER, DO YOU SPEAK IT!
[Said Mr. Jackson using his inside voice]
Is this multiple choice or just a suggested series of steps?
This is just like the dumb HR tests that are like "You see a coworker engage in inappropriate behavior. Should you A. Notify your supervisor, B. Punch them in the face, C. Piss on the floor.
At least the correct answer is obvious instead of a test with vaguely-worded trick questions and ambiguous answers. Those are the tests that make me livid.
I know right? Clearly you piss on the floor.
The secret is to choose the most Ned Flanders response.
I work in a place that’s closed off to the public by Federal Law, where you need to badge in, just a janitor, nothing fancy, they make us watch training videos and stuff. They warn us to pay maximum attention, because we’ll be barred from the site if we fail, losing our jobs in the process.
And the questions are things like
“Which of the following is safe to drink? A) Filtered Water, B) Literal Poison, C) Lava, D, A School Bus”
It’s so blatantly rigged in the favor of the test taker that I suspect they literally wouldn’t even have the test if it wasn’t a legal requirement.
We also keep getting tested for things that don’t even make sense, like recently we were meant to watch a thing on where and when it’s safe to take a smoke break… Despite the fact that tobacco and marijuana are banned form the site and will be confiscated by security if we bring any… So what exactly are they smoking
Oh right, we’re meant to be smoking chocolate, forgot the Troy McClure film.
Seriously though, most of my training is entirely irrelevant as they involve scenarios I’d never be in due to the nature of my job, scenarios I’m literally not allowed to be in, or scenarios that don’t even exist in the first place…
And the questions are always things like
“If your supervisor asks you to do something illegal should you…” and the answers are non-sequitur alongside the real answer, like - A) Report it to the company hotline for illegal activity 555-555-5555 B) Oppress Women & Minorities, C) Run naked into a blizzard, D) Jump off a cliff and into spikes, or E) Pray to Magi-Chan Sonichu in order to hasten the coming of the Dimensional Merge"
The most subtle examples of this are when they ask a question, and one of the answers is suspiciously and overly detailed, while the others are so overly generic that it’s like they wrote the right answer for one, and then just whatever they can think of off the top of their heads.
We have such a test too, but not as extremely dumb. But it’s still in the realm of: how do you wear your high-vis-vest? A: well visible from all sides B: hidden under your jacket to not get it dirty.
DAEBC easy peasy
I like the way you think
That’s a nice movie script.
House M.D
C. Since it just wants one and I would think the immediate safety of people involves moving it away and then tending to the patient.
Messing with the weapon, checking whether it’s empty, isn’t necessary and you’d still have to move it anyway
That’s not what Dr Dre would do, fool
Shit. Looks like we forgot about him again.
HE SPECIFICALLY TOLD US NOT TO DO THAT…
How about treat the patient 😶
That’s step F, after performing the other steps in the order of DAEBC.
C is okay but why are we not allowed to put the safety on and safely remove all of the ammunition?
The general risk assessment is that medical personal don’t know as much about firearms as Law enforcement - and LEOs don’t know much. And you generally have other things to do that are more important than causing a negligent discharge in the ER.
Beside, do you really want to trust the Triage Nurse with a loaded firearm?
I’m confident that, maybe with 5min instructional time from a gun guy (or gal, women are the fastest growing group of gun owners today), anyone with a phd could be taught “push button, remove mag, rack slide” and “push button, swing cylinder, push ejector rod out.”
They really aren’t as hard to learn to use safely as Alec Baldwin would have you believe. Shooting accurately is another matter but simply being safe is as easy as learning 4 rules and a basic knowledge of how common firearms function.
Edit: here, I’ll link a video where
for three easy payments of $29.99in one whole minute and 38 seconds you too can learn how to clear semi auto handguns (the most common type of gun by a mile) safely like a pro!You see how easy this is? A surgeon should be competent enough to learn how to do this.
It’s harder to learn for many people than you might think. There are 1000’s of different kinds of types and models many with subtle differences from one another from one year to the next. Nor do you know just how mechanically sound that gangbanger’s gun is either - what parts might be broken, missing, or badly modified.
It’s probably not worth the risk when you can just place it in a lockbox and call the cops to deal with it.
Sure there’s 1000s of diff types but he doesn’t have a vickers or an mg-42 stuffed down his joggers, he has one of the many revolvers or semi autos that all function the same way. Probably could narrow it down even further, it’s likely either a glock (26, 43, 45, 19, 19x, or 17), a sig (p320 or p365), a S&W (m&p or sd9ve), a Ruger (mkIII or IV, lcp9), a taurus (lol gross), or a hi-point (also lol) or any crappy .22lr revolver. For 99.9% of guns you encounter (unless your friend is a collector,) they’re all going to function similarly enough to at least get it cleared.
As to broken or badly modified, typically it can still be cleared, I’ve never seen a gun so badly broken that dropping the mag or racking the slide fires it. In theory, sure, but that’s why you’re following all the rules of gun safety and pointing it in a safe direction (at something that’ll catch the bullet if all goes wrong.)
I’ve seen literal children learn how, if they can I hope a surgeon can.
You have no clue about medical liability do you.
Well medical accidents kill more people per year in the US than guns, including suicide and accidents. Oddly enough.
(Frankly though if a gang member is shot, he was probably brought in by paramedics, and therefore before they were able to administer care the police secured the scene, so he was probably cuffed to the stretcher, already searched, and accompanied by two or more cops, and this question is frankly silly to begin with.)
I was a medic for 15 years. Ain’t no one EVER going to cuff a patient to a cot. We can’t even transport a cuffed patient. Hard restrains are illegal for us to use. And no cop is ever going to ride in the back of an ambulance. They will follow in a squad car, but they won’t ride with. And maybe the police secured the scene, maybe they didn’t. Maybe they had time to search the patient, maybe they didn’t. It’s not always picture perfect. And yes, medical mistakes kill more people. But, the job is to prevent killing more people due to missed or lacking protocols. So we do what we can to prevent even one.
And no, this isn’t a silly discussion. We do indeed need to have protocols in place involving weapons because it is a real thing and we discuss scenarios where this happens. And while I never had to remove a firearm myself, I have relieved more than one patient of knives, brass knuckles, tears gas, and one leather sap while doing my assessment. And it happened enough we equipped every ambulance with a lock box to secure them. When I retired, they were considering get kevlar vests for the us. Not so much because of guns, but knives. While not a perfect solution it did offer some small protection. At least a bit more than just a jump bag does. We could even take special self defense seminars on how to protect yourself in the confines of the ambulance, and do so without leaving a mark on a patient - it’s considered VERY bad form to beat up your patient. And it was an odd month were you didn’t get assaulted at least once. I think I averaged about 3 a month or so. Things often be whack after midnight yo.
Now I want to see a show where an unsuspecting anxiety ridden Nurse accidentally takes out a mob boss and has to run the gang while juggling their work, love and social life.
Unironically an unexplored Nic Cage movie genre.
All the above except C obviously. Id probably sedate the patient though and see if they got any booger sugar or money on them, they ain’t gon need it where they headed. “Knowhatimsayin” -J to the motherfuckin R-O-C
