Why YSK: Getting along in a new social environment is easier if you understand the role you’ve been invited into.


It has been said that “if you’re not paying for the service, you’re not the customer, you’re the product.”

It has also been said that “the customer is always right”.

Right here and now, you’re neither the customer nor the product.

You’re a person interacting with a website, alongside a lot of other people.

You’re using a service that you aren’t being charged for; but that service isn’t part of a scheme to profit off of your creativity or interests, either. Rather, you’re participating in a social activity, hosted by a group of awesome people.

You’ve probably interacted with other nonprofit Internet services in the past. Wikipedia is a standard example: it’s one of the most popular websites in the world, but it’s not operated for profit: the servers are paid-for by a US nonprofit corporation that takes donations, and almost all of the actual work is volunteer. You might have noticed that Wikipedia consistently puts out high-quality information about all sorts of things. It has community drama and disputes, but those problems don’t imperil the service itself.

The folks who run public Lemmy instances have invited us to use their stuff. They’re not business people trying to make a profit off of your activity, but they’re also not business people trying to sell you a thing. This is, so far, a volunteer effort: lots of people pulling together to make this thing happen.

Treat them well. Treat the service well. Do awesome things.

  • FartSmarter@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    People should also remember that it costs money for these servers to exist. So if you enjoy using it, try to support the service by donating to your instance, contributing to open source projects, spreading the gospel, etc.

    • jay@lemmy.world
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      Couldn’t agree more, we need to continue to attract the kind of people who would really be able to help grow this kind of community, so if you have friends you think would like this, try talking to them.

      Drop a couple bucks into support the admins and servers - think about streaming services you pay for and use less. $5-10/month to donate to a service you are using daily is pretty cheap considering.

      • jennwiththesea@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I see a lot of people willing to support the servers, but little conversation on how to support the admins. I support a living (and competitive) wage for folks, and don’t think instance admins should be doing this work for free. If you set up your own tiny instance for your family, sure, I bet you won’t be charging your family for it, but a huge instance with constant needs and a bunch of strangers is a totally different thing. Just donating toward server costs does not allow admins to pay their personal bills, while they put in hours of work to keep this place going. So, I appreciate you for including “admins” in the support needs!

      • GBU_28@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        I said I’d be willing to pay up to 5/mo for baconreader, this should be no different… Once I figure out the instance that really matters to me.

        • Instigate@aussie.zone
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          Yeah, I used to pay $3/month for Apollo - would be very happy to donate that to lemmy server admins instead. My issue is that I don’t know what instance(s) to donate to given that I’m absorbing content from quite a few different instances at the moment. One of the issues with decentralisation is that I don’t really know who deserves my financial support the most! Maybe I’ll just donate to my home instance.

      • chowder@lemmy.one
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        1 year ago

        I know a lot of people hate it but I wonder if crypto/digital donation would work. All you would need is a separate wallet setup to pay the host every month. Maybe even have a graph/chart showing how much is in the wallet vs how much the monthly bill is.

        • fubo@lemmy.worldOP
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          One problem with cryptocurrency is that instead of being coupled with mainstream banks (where workers get their pay deposited) it is instead coupled with speculative assets employed by criminals. As such, choosing to work on accepting cryptocurrency instead of working on accepting real-money donations ties the service to a crime economy instead of a mainstream economy.

          • chowder@lemmy.one
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            1 year ago

            Good thing criminals never use cash, otherwise you could call the world economy criminal.

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              1 year ago

              HSBC helping to launder money at the teller window with custom boxes must have been a fever dream.

          • rdyoung@lemmy.world
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            So you are saying that HSBC getting caught helping launder cartel money at the teller is fake news?

            USD Is still the preferred currency of criminals across the world and even more so they use assets like paintings to facilitate non traceable payment and smuggle extremely large dollar amounts. They also use art work to launder money.

            I’d suggest you pull your head out of your ass and get on the crypto train because it’s leaving you behind. Look at btc, ltc, dash and others.

          • rdyoung@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            To add. USD hasn’t been backed by a real asset in nearly a century. It was once backed by gold but now the only thing backing it is full faith in the USA. At the moment that means something, it might not always.

            You need to educate yourself on this stuff because you sound like a moron.

            • barsoap@lemm.ee
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              1 year ago

              The USD, just like any other fiat currency, is backed by the trustworthiness of its central bank and the economic base of the currency area.

              In other words: Euros are backed by the fact that if you’re in Italy and have a Euro, you can exchange it for an espresso. You can trust the ECB that it will do its darnest to keep prices stable, and you can trust Italians to continue making espresso, which means that the Euro indeed is a hard currency.

            • CmdrShepard@lemmy.one
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              The difference is that the entire world economy would need to collapse for the US dollar to be worthless. Crypto can become worthless because some 22-year-old video game addict steals everyone’s deposit.

        • rdyoung@lemmy.world
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          I like this for the transparency but crypto is an open ledger, anyone can see the balance of any address at any time as well as see where the addresses where money was sent. Plenty of hosts now take crypto and most larger exchanges are tagged on explorers for btc, ltc, etc. That makes it easier for the public to keep an audit on what’s going on.

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            I know you can see how much is in a wallet, I would prefer a visualization of amount in the wallet vs how much the server costs.

    • SomeoneElse@lemmy.world
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      I’m dirt poor but I’ve donated to Wikipedia at least three times now. I use that website so often, it’s changed my life.

      • tooting_lemmy@lemm.ee
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        I gave them some money after I graduated college. I had used them so much it felt right to give back a bit.

      • Instigate@aussie.zone
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        You’ve inspired me to be honest. I really didn’t use much of Wikipedia in high school or university but I’ve definitely fallen down the wiki-hole very many times and leanred things that there’s no way I’d have learned if not for the convenience. Gonna donate them a fiver now; it ain’t much, but it’s honest work.

        • SomeoneElse@lemmy.world
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          I’m glad to hear that! I’m the same, I don’t recall using it for school or uni, but I can’t begin to imagine how many random pages I’ve looked up as an adult. If it disappeared tomorrow I’d be gutted.

    • tool@r.rosettast0ned.com
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      contributing to open source projects

      You need to be careful with this point, because it becomes addictive.

      It’s 4AM and I just submitted a PR to the Liftoff app repo.

    • average650@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Beehaw has a periodic financial update. It would be great if each instance had a similar kind of update so that we can understand what is needed and where to help.

        • average650@lemmy.world
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          I like it, and it represents the spirit of the fediverse well, but power does cost money. It seems like you want to run a small hands off instance, which is great, but if it starts to grow you might want to keep that in mind.

          • SJ_Zero@lemmy.fbxl.net
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            One nice thing about using parts scavenged from roadside signs is they’re incredibly power efficient. If everything was pulling its full power, I think I’d be pulling 100W maximum, and they don’t run like that.

            • average650@lemmy.world
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              Fair enough! What exactly did you find on the side of the road that actually worked? It’s a fun idea for lots of servers.

              • SJ_Zero@lemmy.fbxl.net
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                1 year ago

                My server farm, such as it is.

                Fanless commercial grade sign PCs are fairly available on the second hand market, relatively inexpensive, and they’re not super high powered, but they’re good enough for small instances of stuff.

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      Eh, I like free software the same way I like free beer - I don’t ever have to pay for it, and no one can compel me to. The beauty of community projects and free software. I enjoy being a freeloader, thanks very much. I will contribute by making this an active project with my posts.

      • AFK BRB Chocolate@lemmy.world
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        Eh, I like free software the same way I like free beer - I don’t ever have to pay for it, and no one can compel me to.

        Right, and no one is even attempting to compel you to. In my opinion, this is one of those “within your means” kind of thing. If you went to your friends house, hung out, and drank his beer every weekend, month after month, his reaction might depend on your ability to contribute. If he knew you struggled to make ends meet, he might be just fine with it, especially if you tried to help out in other ways. He you make more money than he does, and he was the one scraping by, he might get resentful. Either way, he can’t compel you, but one is kind of shitty.

        Some of us have more ability to financially support than others, and that’s fine. Last night I made a donation to the developers and another to my instance admins. I’m thinking about making that automatic monthly, but we’ll see. The point is, I think it’s fine if this is a bit socialistic, with some paying a lot, some paying a little, and others not paying at all, as long as the community is able to thrive. By the same token, some instance owners will likely consider it a hobby and not need/want any donations, while some others won’t be able to support growth without them.

        • rimlogger@lemmy.world
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          Well, I will sound immensely selfish, and maybe it’s because I’ve been so used to “free everything” on the Internet, but I will never pay for an online service ever. I pirate all my books, all my TV shows, and use scripts and archive.is to read online newspapers and magazines for free. Life costs so much money already, I will never ever feel bothered to actually donate to an online service or free software.

          If Lemmy.world goes down due to lack of funds, no problem from me. I’ll join a different instance and carry on. Or go back to Reddit.

          I’ll happily admit to being a loafer on the Internet. I expect little from my services so long as I don’t have to pay shit for it.

          • AFK BRB Chocolate@lemmy.world
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            I will never pay for an online service ever

            I disagree with this attitude, but you’re for sure not alone. If everyone was like that, we just wouldn’t have a lot of things we do now.

            When our boys were young and torrents and ad blockers were new, I tried to get them to understand that, while not everything is about money, people generally don’t invest huge amounts of their own time and money into things that they aren’t getting paid for. If everyone started using ad blockers, sites would close down or move to a subscription model because ads are what paid for content. If everyone stole their music, some bands might just hang it up or put less focus on making new music, etc.

            And here we are: lots of publications have moved behind paywalls because they weren’t getting much ad revenue anymore, many have started putting out content that’s just regurgitated crap from Twitter and Reddit because they can’t afford journalists, and some have just gone under. Bands spend a lot more time touring because it’s harder to steal a concert so they make more money doing that than putting out albums (though the Spotify model has changed some things). People are all about stealing content and thinking they should get everything for free, but it really is selfish and unrealistic.

            • rimlogger@lemmy.world
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              Here’s the thing: the rest of life (rent, food, retirement etc.) cost so much already that anything I can get for free or don’t have to pay for in some way I will make that choice to pirate or not pay. If capitalism wasn’t breathing down my neck with all this crazy inflation in food costs, rent increases, student loan repayments, etc., perhaps I would be more amenable to paying for newspapers and online services and all that nice to have stuff. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

          • Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works
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            1 year ago

            I understand this position - I used to be of the “it’s the internet, steal anything that isn’t nailed down” mentality too.

            And I still have a lot of that, to be fair. But COVID taught me a general lesson that I’ve been trying to take to heart: if you want nice things that cost money to function to keep existing, at some point people are going to need to chip in. My town lost a ton of good local businesses to the pandemic, and many others got dangerously close to closing. I don’t go out and support every local business, but shit I care about (my local independent movie theatre, live music venues, etc.) gets the amount of money I’m willing to contribute.

            If people don’t do this, nice things either disappear or become less nice in an effort to secure funding by alternate means.

            You’re welcome not to - the means exist where you don’t have to - but think about the declining quality of some of the stuff you enjoy and why that might be the case.

            • rimlogger@lemmy.world
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              Rent and food come first for me. Online services are fungible. Like if it’s free to use or free to take, I’ll take advantage. We all have to eat first and some of us don’t earn enough money to donate to a free project. Donations are a luxury to me.

              Don’t judge, 99% of the people using Lemmy and its various instances will never donate. We contribute happily through our posts.

  • AnObscureTenet@lemmy.world
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    Nope. You’re the USER. A concept that is as old as computing and yet has gone completely by the wayside recently with the corporate monopolization of the internet.

    Good to see it making a comeback.

    • GingerKun@vlemmy.net
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      That’s a little reductive… Lemmy Admins are users as well. And any bug reports or feedback you provide is implemented to improve Lemmy, which we all benefit from.

  • magnetosphere@lemmy.world
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    Mostly what I feel is gratitude. Personally, I don’t have the skills, technical knowledge, or free time required to run even a small instance. I know I’m relying on the generosity of others, which makes me much more tolerant of delays, glitches, etc.

  • Dazza@lemmy.world
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    One of my favourite things about early days Reddit was it’s growing community of positivity. There was actual encouragement to be nice to each other and subreddits were built around celebrating stuff.

    Negativity was downvoted into oblivion so you never saw that stuff on the All page and popular pages.

    I’m seeing the same thing with Lemmy right now and hope it continues long into the future. The lack of profiteering should really help with this.

    • *dust.sys@lemmy.world
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      It’s the kind of thing that’s easy to start and hard to continue. Time will tell, but I hope we can develop the kind of community values here that will grow with scale, rather than shrink

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    “If you’re not paying for the service, you’re not the customer, you’re the product.”

    I see this everywhere, it’s the logical fallacy equivalent of “everything that’s rare has value”.

    I’m sure most people, on the top of their head, can think of at least 3 products that are free to use and aren’t engineered to leverage their private information (Wikipedia anyone?)

    What is true though, is that if you’re not paying for the product or service, SOMEBODY ELSE definitely is. So the question is: “who is paying for me? And why are they paying for me? What is at stake for them?”

    • lorcster123@lemmy.world
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      I’ve donated to wikipedia before because I feel its valuable to me for all the information it gives.

      I might donate to lemmy if i feel its valuable to me for information or discussions

    • KairuByte@lemmy.world
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      I think the part that’s missing is that this advice is related to companies, not in general. If the company is making a profit, and not asking you to pay, where is the money coming from?

  • irkli@lemmy.world
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    Thanks OP. We have an opportunity to do things differently, and better.

    When I signed up on a mastodon instance winter of 22, I moved a couple times, when I settled down, I setup $5/mo to the site.

    When I signed up to lemmy.world, I did the same after a week.

    No ads! No spying, no coercion, no CEOs whims to extract profit from accumulated past collective work. Sure admins mods etc can become assholes – and we can move.

    Wikipedia’s innards can be icky at times, man politics around some pages is infuriating. GUESS WHAT. WE DONT EVEN GET TO DO THAT MUCH on a corporate site. Most Wikipedia.org pages operate just fine. There’s always someone “wrong on the internet” somewhere, we can choose where we put our energies.

    Reddit seemed incrementally better than most – up to the Troubles. But I just got lulled by the mostly great people there and the great conversations, but jarred awake, again, by the reminder than in reality, it was just another pump and dump deal. It was just taking longer than my attention span.

    • PorradaVFR@lemmy.world
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      I purchased Apollo and also subscribed to Reddit premium as I was a heavy user and wanted to contribute my fair share. Happy to until…of course. Looks like a much better value here - an actual community. Worth my money (like Wiki too!)

    • SirQuackTheDuck@lemmy.world
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      I’m starting to work out a concept for funding servers a little differently. Since the Fediverse / Lemmyverse is not just one server admin, but a bunch of them, I want to run an experiment to see if it’s feasible to make a subscriber based, or even activity-based calculation of how to dice up each user’s donation.

      It’ll all be just a proof-of-concept at first, maybe it works and it’s legally possible too (biiig if), then it could work something like a FOSS funding system.

      It’s just in documentation phase now, figuring out what would be a proper algorithm and such, but if you’re wiling to think along (or talk me out of it), please send a dm.

      Edit: woah there, my app was going haywire. I removed the duplicates

      • Redecco@lemmy.world
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        Can you explain how this would work a bit? I’m not familiar with the concept, but wondering if it means that funding would pool through a single system and be distributed across different instances?

        • SirQuackTheDuck@lemmy.world
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          Hello, I made a community for it, /c/lemmyfund, feel free to join there! I’ve written some stuff down on GitHub as well, a link is in the community.

  • fenwickrysen@lemmy.world
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    People always forget the last part of the quote: “The customer is always right in matters of taste.

    </pedantic> ;-)

    • iamr00t@lemmy.world
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      I like this but I cannot find a reputable source to back this quote. Do you have one by any chance?

  • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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    It has also been said that “the customer is always right”.

    If i’m not mistaken, the original saying was more along the lines of “The customer should always feel he’s right”. Anyway, the gist is that any side is “always right” should never be the mindset of any sane business or service.

    Not entirely related to the topic, but something that I think everyone shold be aware of

    • mosiacmango@lemm.ee
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      The old saying is that “the customer is always right in matters of taste.”

      If you just love making green widgets but your customers buy blue ones 10x more than green, you should make blue widgets, not green ones.

      I think its better summed up as “sell what sells.”

    • explodicle@local106.com
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      The version I like is “the customer is always right in matters of taste”. You can’t tell them what they should want, but they can’t get it for a penny.

    • Matt Payne@sh.itjust.works
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      “The customer is always right” is a very popular saying, usually uses by managers to tell their front-facing employees that they must prostrate themselves before the customer on behalf of the corporation.

      This is to create a false feeling of entitlement and service in the customer while the corporation seeks to squeeze all value from both employee and customer.

      None of those relationships fit into the fediverse scheme.

    • MildManneredPate@lemmy.world
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      I don’t really think there’s a risk of a business having an abundance of deference to the customer. Would be a nice problem to have, these days.

  • teawrecks@sopuli.xyz
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    This post missed the most important part people should know: someone is footing the bill for you to use this service. If you’re not paying, they will make their money in whatever what they choose. Potential resulting in you becoming the product. Yes, even on lemmy. So if your instance mod needs funding, kick em a few bucks, be their customer.

    • orientalsniper@lemmy.world
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      This is important to note, we’re not the customers nor the product for now.

      Instances need to be sustainable as to not look for other potential types of funding.

      • SkyNTP@lemmy.ml
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        It’s time for social media where you are the customer. That’s what I would like, and I am willing to pay for it if the costs are reasonable. I thing that starts with public accounting. Like a condo association. I think some instances have started doing this.

    • oceane@jlai.lu
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      Yes, and this will foster large instances, similarly to the Mastodon project, which means a concentration of power, which means easy targets for billionaires.

      This is similar to presidential regimes: they can be useful temporarily in a “move fast, break things” motto (see France trying to be perceived as a “winner” of the Second World war after having constitutionally given the full powers to the Pétain Marshall, who then decided to collaborate with Nazis) but they’re much easier to corrupt and they make it much easier to say, privatize every public service than a parliamentary one.

      You don’t want power concentration or the billionaires will come for you.

    • CheshireSnake@iusearchlinux.fyi
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      Or they can decide to shut down the instance. If you have the means to do so, consider donating to your friendly neighborhood host. Hosting an instance isn’t free.

  • SGG@lemmy.world
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    While I agree and love the idea, it’s going to be very difficult to keep things this way. Main two reasons are:

    • It costs money to run a service like this as it expands.
    • The temptation of the money to be gained from gathering data can be very hard to resist.

    I’m honestly fully ready to see ads sprinkled throughout Lemmy instances (but the problem with that is that due to the federated nature, you can place load on one server through the API’s without getting ads).

    We’ve also already seen Beehaw defederate from lemmy.world and sh.itjust.works due to the sheer volume of users creating issues around moderation (and probably server load as well) https://beehaw.org/post/567170. If that becomes a semi-constant issue I can see people leaving Lemmy, or at least not being as active as they would otherwise have been.

    For now I’m enjoying things, finding it a bit “slow” but that’s been a bit welcome, no more threads with thousands of comments drowning everyone out.

    • meldroc@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      If things get big enough that hobbyist instance owners are getting overwhelmed, it might be a good idea to organize a nonprofit, under the NPR business model. Not collecting data or breaking your brain with advertisements, though periodically, they’re gonna have to go hat in hand, and beg users to feed their Patreon. Hey, I’m more than happy to throw a little in!

      Nice thing about this business model is that being a nonprofit, the point of its existence is to fulfill its mission (to help independent distributed social media thrive), instead of to make money for owners/shareholders.

      • McMillan@lemmy.fmhy.ml
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        1 year ago

        the point of its existence is to fulfill its mission (to help independent distributed social media thrive)

        I read that as “disturbed” and for some reason the sentence still made sense to me…

    • fubo@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 year ago

      The temptation of the money to be gained from gathering data can be very hard to resist.

      There is no money to be gained from “gathering data” here. All the data is already public, which means that Google, Microsoft, OpenAI, etc. are already free to copy whatever they would like. That’s part of being on the open Web.

    • flashmedallion@lemmy.nz
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      1 year ago

      We’ve also already seen Beehaw defederate from lemmy.world and sh.itjust.works due to the sheer volume of users creating issues around moderation

      Troubling but understandable. Beehaw is basically fediverse tumblr, they need to prioritise their own safety.

      It really highlights the other main issue though in that people really want a new alternative to work so are obsessed with growth at all costs. But maximising the influx of new users is going to have negative effects on quality, culture, and community.

      A bit of friction to onboarding, and a slow steady growth that allows a community to form is what’s going to set this up for success

  • Shippuu@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Let’s make lemmy the best community in the world without corporate greed!

  • Books@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    Quick question: I have an account on Lemmy.world and kbin.social… When trying to post on Lemmy.world it just spins and posts… so I bopped over to my kbin account and one thing I noticed is that Kbin says it has 39 comments, but Lemmy.world this same post has 139… how do I square this circle?

    • Troy@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      There is sometimes a delay between the time when you make a post or comment and the time it gets synchronized by all of the federated instances. Depends on the instances in question, and their bandwidth and server load and etc.

      Furthermore, comments made by a user whose instance is federated won’t show up. A little in depth on this one:

      Lemmygrad.ml is full of obnoxious tankies and is not federated with most instances. But they are federated to lemmy.ml. So users of lemmygrad.ml can comment on posts to lemmy.ml. But as a user of lemmy.ca which is federated with lemmy.ml and not lemmygrad.ml, if I go read that post on lemmy.ca, I won’t see the comments made by users of lemmygrad.ml. basically it’s a Venn diagram.

      Beehaw.org is defederated from a few of the larger instances, so you won’t see comments from lemmy.world users on posts hosted on beehaw.org.

      It’s weird, but it is a feature not a bug.

      • AlexisFR@jlai.lu
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        1 year ago

        Well, it’s all about a compromise in the end, but it’s better than to depend on single actors, I think.

        • meldroc@sh.itjust.works
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          1 year ago

          Exactly. Lemmy might give you the warning “This may be incomplete, view on the original instance”, but if the only posts missing are ones from defederated neo-Nazi instances, not seeing them is indeed a feature rather than a bug.

    • Djinger@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      I think a Black Arrow off the top rope would get you the three count

            • Not_Sure@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              It’s a wresting move. A black arrow is when you jump off the top ring on your opponent in an outstretched fashion.

              Definitely lost Haha

              Also… my first Lemmy comment. Whoo hoo!

              • Square Singer@feddit.de
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                1 year ago

                That’s what I call bug stacking.

                They are talking about the bug that instances lose sync, which is in the pipeline to be fixed.

                While doing so, @Djinger hit another bug, that randomly swapps out posts/comments while you write a comment, so that your comment appears at the wrong place.

                This is a bug that has been fixed (I believe) in 0.18, but instances are still stuck in 0.17.4, because of a regression in 0.18 (captchas were removed), which will be reverted in 0.18.1, which has been released but many instances haven’t upgraded yet.

        • Djinger@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          Nope. Dude said “square the circle” and the subreddit for pro wrestling is “r/squaredcircle”

    • Square Singer@feddit.de
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      Can’t say anything about the kbin side, but Lemmy has a known bug that syncs are only attempted once and if the target instance isn’t available (e.g. due to maintainance downtime or due to being overrun by thousands of users), the sync is lost.

      There is currently no workaround, except of maybe editing an unsynced comment, but the devs know about it and it’s in the pipeline.

      Theething problems. Overload hasn’t ever been an issue until two weeks ago. I’m honestly impressed that Lemmy still works at all.