My sadism and masochism have combined to make cutting myself an incredibly pleasurable experience. Not as good as doing it without someone else but it’s close. I started doing it in middle school, but it took years for me to figure out why. I never resonated with the ‘self harm’ resources being thrown at me. Everyone assumed I was depressed but rly I was just horny lmao. Anyone else? I’ve always felt like a bit of a weirdo for this one.
I can definitely see the eroticism in it. I think it could be an (intentionally) arousing experience to harm myself or be harmed. One time I had an ingrown toenail and I just couldn’t get it out, so I snipped off a chunk of my toe flesh around it. It felt really good, like almost an orgasm. I also just really like the burning throbbing sensation of an injury, like a cut or an infection. Whenever I do these little operations on myself it also makes me feel like a mad scientist.