As it turns out, the majority of folks are just people trying to get by, and if you’re nice enough to them, they’ll be nice enough to you.
The problem with most terminally online people is that their social lives ended when they left school, which is when the population of arseholes is at its highest. Everybody is trying to impress everybody else, even at the cost of others.
But a lot of those same people tend to chill off as they mature into adults and become less self-centred. There are still absolutely arsehole adults, but nowhere near as many as the terminally online expect there to be.
I’ve observed this after I got into a college!
What I observed was people willing to throw someone off a balcony simply because he set the curve. People are either murderers, or murderer-enablers.
When people start punishing abusers to the point where it stats looking like a holocaust, maybe then they can be redeemed. Until the abusers are traumatized into submission, there will be no justice.
Dude, see a therapist or something man.
I’ve seen multiple therapists - but therapizing me doesn’t stop other people from abusing me. Getting people to stop is the only goal, the only way I can survive.
I spy with my little eye: A common denominator! You!
There’s more than one common denominator. You forgot at least human nature.
One person can only do so much; if the rest of society refuses to act in good faith out of malignant narcissism, what do you expect me to do?
Bro really took a comment by a guy named Willy Wanker 69, who’s trying to make a joke, seriously
Punishment probably isn’t the best way to improve things. Even under your view of things, it should be clear that punishment does more to make the punisher feel good than actually solve problems.
It’s the only way to improve things. Things cannot improve until you stop people from making it worse - and the only way people will stop making things worse is if they’re too traumatized to act.
Things cannot get better as long as you let people have free will - their free agency will always drive them to worsen things for their own benefit. The power of free will corrupts them.
Sounds awfully fascist
You people have been exercising fascistic behavior towards me since I was a child. Who are you to complain about receiving your own medicine?
I don’t know you, why should I care enough about you to have “fascistic behaviour” towards you?
“You get what you fucking deserve!”
Believe it or not, most people will stop doing things if they are convinced that it isn’t in their self interest. The idea that trauma is effective at getting people to stop doing something is neither accurate or acceptable. Trauma could easily make some people lash out and cause even more damage. If there’s something we shouldn’t tolerate, it’s people who want to inflict unnecessary and unproductive harm on other people. It probably didn’t make you less of a threat.
You need help, and not just therapy. You would benefit from real life friends and positive interactions with people who treat you as an equal. Residential treatment might be a good idea if you haven’t done it before. Treatment will only work if you work with it. It’s assistance, not having the problem solved for you. You need to do some of the lifting.
You have my attention. A charged response like that deserves a moment of consideration at the Very least.
What experience or experiences brought you to this opinion?
i speak having come from a broken home, destroyed by alcohol. unwanted by my mother and never set eyes on my dad, abused physically and emotionally by said mother as she took her failures out on me…what i mean by that, is…I’ve been in the dark places and I still frequent dark thoughts. i was robbed of justice in a world that owes me nothing…I’ve felt my share of rage and misplaced entitlement. So when i ask you, what’s up? please do not think i am being dismissive nor combative. i genuinely would like to hear about ‘it’
What about people who use browsers instead of terminals?
Well fuck, you got me there… In one sentence you’ve just given everyone on 4Chan the ability to touch grass.
What do you count as terminally online? I don’t differenciate between online and offline friends and spend lots of times talking or chatting to people online (as I spend time doing stuff with people irl). But I wouldn’t say that my or this social life is bad.
I would classify “terminally online” as almost exclusively interacting with people online with little to no IRL at all. A bit part of that would also be that the people you interact with are people you’ve never seen.
Wat makes you think that people will be better IRL? They may be more inhibited, but that just means they’re lying about themselves. The truth will burst out, eventually - better to be forewarned.
Being honest doesn’t mean telegraphing every impulse to the surface and acting on it. A toddler does that and it’s considered bratty, a behavior to be corrected.
Being IRL means having immediate feedback on our actions. No extended diatribes using cut outs of their speech. No linking to articles to convince a person. It becomes a test of the social abilities of each individual and how well they can listen and speak. It flexes different skills than reading and writing.
Try to buy from a salesman in person vs online to see the difference. IRL is vastly different from online. IRL also has the added effect of “fuck around, find out” with no down time. If you say something distasteful then you learn about it before you’re done talking by the expressions and reactions of those around you. Acting like you have been is a quick ticket to lonersville, which is probably why you’re so angry at the idea that IRL is different from online. Get out and talk to strangers. See how they react to your need to interrupt, dissect, and “win” when they werent arguing. People want to share information, not stand atop some invisible social pyramid.
I’ll also add another major sign is if you don’t know their irl names. I have close friends who I met over the pandemic who live far away, but we knew each other by name and hear each other’s voices. That’s a big thing. Your Twitter/tumblr mutuals or people you regularly interact with on Reddit/Lemmy are people that terminally online people will think of as friends rather than “no we’ve never met irl but we play d&d together or have a book club over discord”.
The other big thing is whether or not you go to irl events. Just literally being somewhere that’s neither home nor work/school helps so much.
I’d call people that who lost contact with reality. So if something you believe could be immediately proven wrong by just stepping outside for a while, you are terminally online.
For example the 4chan theory of: “80 % of women date only 20 % of ultra chad men”. There are people who actually believe this.
That theory is used for dating apps, not for dating in general
Nah, unless Match.com was popular with 4chan chuds, that theory was overwhelmingly popular on 4chan way, WAY before dating apps were mainstream.
Dating apps were mainstream long before 4chan existed, although not as dominant. The idea that all of the women go for the top tier of men gained prominence with an analysis posted on the old OKCupid of their user behavior, and the particular 80/20 split was just pulled out of somewhere, likely borrowed from the Pareto Principle. In any case, 4chan may have pathologized it, but certainly did not originate the notion.
My definition is more or less the same as the one @ParsnipWitch offered…
The terminally online are thise who have little to no contact with reality. They are the shut-ins and the NEETs of this world. Those that would fully believe in conspiracies about life which could be disproven simply by interacting with others IRL.
What a fucking pant load. You’re so full of shit, it stinks.
the majority of folks are just people trying to get by, and if you’re nice enough to them, they’ll be nice enough to you.
Bullshit. The majority of people want to dominate everyone not in their immediate social circle. Go look up social dominance theory - it will tell you everything you need to know about how people really behave.
The problem with most terminally online people is that their social lives ended when they left school, which is when the population of arseholes is at its highest. Everybody is trying to impress everybody else, even at the cost of others.
But a lot of those same people tend to chill off as they mature into adults and become less self-centred. There are still absolutely arsehole adults, but nowhere near as many as the terminally online expect there to be.
And what magical fucking force forces people to “chill”?
They don’t. Because that magic doesn’t fucking exist. Only the trauma of punishment makes people stop abusing others. Without the threat of permanent injury on themselves, people will always try to permanently injure others as a means to dominate and control - at least for the sake of their social groups. That desperate need to dominate and control is what makes them human.
You are spreading self-aggrandizing lies; spreading an infection that will only cause more people to get more “uppity” and beat more innocent people to death. Stop lying about people and apologizing for their bloodlust. People are murderers, hunters for the only “game” still left - forcibly isolated human beings.
I wasted my entire life being kind to people, only to mock me for being so stupid, so gullible enough to fall for the con that they would be nice back. They beat me like they were mining for ore, driving blow after blow into my skull until it was permanently disfigured, and then they broke every bone in my limbs until they didn’t work anymore.
Don’t give me this horseshit about how people “chill out” - I did not get almost murdered over fifteen years by people who would simply magically stop being murderous because some timer ran out. No, those motherfuckers murdered as if it was a fucking religious mandate and they are the same type of assholes who tried to take over the U.S. on January 6th.
No one is ever going to acknowledge my humanity, no matter how kind I am, or what I do. I will always be seen as a “less than” because the ENTIRE human race are malignant narcissists - and there is an entire organization of psychologists and sociologists who reject the pro-human narrative and know exactly how evil people really are. Quit apologizing for rapists and murderers.
If this is how you act around other people … I don’t think the problem is other people.
This is how I act in response to other people’s abuse. How will you ever learn not to abuse me if I don’t punish you myself? No one else will do it.
The fact is, it doesn’t matter how I act - you made up your mind to hate me as soon as you found out I exist and crammed me into your “other” pigeonhole. Your reactions are now completely detached from my behavior, and you’ll treat me like shit no matte how kindly I treat you, simply because you now assert I’m infinitely “less than” you. This is how you protect your fragile ego.
If this is how you act around other people … I don’t think the problem is other people.
Then you’re a fool, manipulated by malignant narcissists, and now you’re on the end of their leash, permanently their tool.
If I don’t defend myself, you all will succeed in killing me. Treating you better will only convince you I’m stupid enough to fall for your con.
You’re an enabler of abuse. Piss off, tool.
Why are you acting like these people here replying are your direct abusers? We don’t even know you and you are accusing us of trying to murder you.
Do you not see how insane these words you are saying are?
I’m sorry your life has been hard and seemingly full of abuse, but we are not those abusers.
Why are you acting like these people here replying are your direct abusers?
Because not only is there nothing stopping them from doing the exact same thing my abusers did, those same abusers will force them to do it, or kill them if they resist. The entirety of society is a hierarchy of abuse - that’s it’s purpose, and enforced with an iron fist if necessary.
Do you not see how insane these words you are saying are?
Bullshit. It’s not “insane” - you’re just fucking ignorant and mentally lazy. You’re an enabler, pure and simple.
I’m sorry your life has been hard and seemingly full of abuse
No you’re not - as a human being, you’re not capable of being sorry for events that you ultimately benefit from. My social isolation clears the way for you - I cannot compete against you for resources because of being ostracized.
we are not those abusers.
You can’t not be those abusers, because you don’t have an alternate source from which to learn other behaviors. Your parents, and everyone of their generation were abusers too - and killed off everyone who wasn’t. No one is left alive to teach you how to not be abusive - that’s why exactly 100% of the people I grew up with abused me; the people who would have supported me are dead.
deleted by creator
Nobody here abused you and yet you still went on a 4-5 paragraph rant about how shitty they are. You’re the problem.
I wasted my entire life being kind to people
Sorry, bud - kind people don’t say that. Yes, I’ve been walked all over by assholes, and I’ve been taken advantage of more times than I can count. I’ve been bullied and abused because of my body, and I’ve been made to feel like I don’t deserve to share the same planet with some people, but I’ve also met some amazing people who accept me and love me.
The whole point of being kind is to be vulnerable, and to help people earnestly and without judgement. Why would I give a shit that some asshole got a leg up because of my effort, or felt bigger by making me feel smaller? If I help 100 jerks and one good person, at the end of the day, I helped a good person, and that makes my whole day, regardless of anything else. That’s how you find the good people in the world, and build your social circle with people who care for you.
The whole point of being kind is to be vulnerable, and to help people earnestly and without judgement. Why would I give a shit that some asshole got a leg up because of my effort, or felt bigger by making me feel smaller? If I help 100 jerks and one good person, at the end of the day, I helped a good person, and that makes my whole day, regardless of anything else. That’s how you find the good people in the world, and build your social circle with people who care for you.
You’re a gullible fool.
“Vulnerability” only teaches people they can succeed in killing you, and that you won’t defend yourself properly from those who try. This isn’t about “some asshole got a leg up because of my effort” or “felt bigger by making me feel smaller” - this is about motherfuckers who murder people for fun.
Get your head out of your as an see real life. Life is a war zone where very social group is hunting every other social group - and everyone isolated from a social group. The goals of those groups is to kill - nothing less. There are no “good people” to help - they ALL are on the hunt, and I will not accept your lies suggesting otherwise. I will not be changed by your attempt to dominate and subjugate my mind.
Sorry, bud - kind people don’t say that.
Yes they do - after they wake up and realize they were taken in for fools, haven been conned by society into enabling abusers.
Clearly you’ve given up hope, and need to reject the idea of other people people being happy, and surrounded by love in order to not feel like you made a mistake in doing so. Nobody’s trying to kill me, nor are they trying to kill you - people are pretty good at that, as you pointed out; when they actually want to, they don’t try to, they just do. I’ve gotten death threats before, and lo and behold they were just threats. Had anyone gotten a gun and actually came after me with it, I’d be dead. You would be too, if they were serious about their supposed effort to kill you.
I’m in a loving marriage, with friends and what’s left of my family after I cut out the bad parts. They all support me and want me to be happy. We hang out and help one another, and it’s been years since I even met someone who I remember treating me poorly, because once you have that support network you don’t even care about those kinds of people. You end up just seeing them for what they are instead - just normal people who never learned to interact with others; pity them. You’ve still got a good chance to find your friend group. Don’t throw that chance away by just assuming such lives don’t exist - they absolutely do.
Clearly you’ve given up hope
This is correct, but:
need to reject the idea of other people people being happy, and surrounded by love in order to not feel like you made a mistake in doing so.
People derive their happiness from torturing “other” people. That’s why they tortured me. That’s why my own parents tied me to a chair and beat me half to death with whatever didn’t leave bruise. That’s why my childhood peers beat me with whatever they could find and call me every name in the book. and that’s why no one ever did anything else. My therapists said the lack of alternate behavior - treatmentother than abuse - was the most damaging part of my trauma.
Nobody’s trying to kill me
No shit - you’re in a social group.
nor are they trying to kill you
They why was I shot three months ago, by a man who yelled in front of witnesses that he was going to kill me?
Had anyone gotten a gun and actually came after me with it, I’d be dead. You would be too, if they were serious about their supposed effort to kill you.
You grossly overestimate the competence of humankind. You also forget that maintaining social acceptance overrides even their desire to kill. They have to justify killing me to their peers before they can do it - otherwise they come off as someone who will kill anyone, a homicidal maniac. They have to build a casus belli before they murder me - that’s where I set them against their peers.
Their real desire is to dominate - killing is the consolation prize. I refuse to be someone else’s slave, so they’re driven to kill me to prevent the narcissistic collapse - to live with themselves after “failing” to enslave me.
I’m in a loving marriage, with friends and what’s left of my family
Bragging, really? You self-centered twat.
once you have that support network you don’t even care about those kinds of people.
The problem is that I can’t get that support network because you motherfuckers define your identities by who you bar from those networks. You bastards would rather kill an entire crowd than “fail” by letting me be tolerated by a group. You support your narcissistic egos by dominating other people and lying about them to others, making sure they’re permanently socially isolated.
You’ve still got a good chance to find your friend group.
No I don’t - I’m at the end of my life, and have absolutely no use for a friend group now.
Don’t throw that chance away by just assuming such lives don’t exist - they absolutely do
Prove it. Drag their bodies before me. I’m sick and tired of liars like you asserting this bullshit without proof, simply because your friends drive you to delusion and protect you from reality.
Alright, you’ve got people trying to kill you that’s terrible. You’ve definitely got it worse than I ever did, and you’re justified in thinking everyone’s out to get you. So start fresh. My mom never tried to kill me, but she did try to forcibly denounce my citizenship so I’d be utterly reliant upon her, so I moved across the country and lived for a few years in a closet of a bedroom owned by some lady I found on craigslist.
It sucked, and I had pretty much no money, but in about 2 years I managed to get back on my feet. I was even able to move back to my hometown, since I didn’t want to let my mom force me to live away from where I wanted to be. I made a new social group, and let some people from the previous group back in once I assessed whether they had my best interests in mind. I’m not saying starting fresh would be easy - it’s certainly the hardest thing I’ve ever done - but it sounds like you’ve got people actively hunting you down, so if they’re as incompetent at murder as you say they are, they should have an even harder time killing you with a thousand miles between you.
I’m not telling you about my life to brag - I’m actively encouraging you to find those same joys yourself. That’s what it looks like when someone encourages you - they tell you about how good your life can be if you regain hope.
So start fresh.
I moved across the country
Not only is there no way to “start fresh”, MOVING IS WHAT MADE PEOPLE WANT TO KILL ME IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! Their murderous rage started when my parents moved from one place to some place where “I didn’t belong” and they’ve been trying to kill me ever since, because there is no place on this Earth I belong. Even if there was such a place, they’d simply destroy it to deprive me of it and dominate me.
they should have an even harder time killing you with a thousand miles between you.
They are experts at chasing me down - they are far more skilled at chasing and tracking than killing. Remember, their priority is DOMINATION - they have an entire stable of people they have enslaved, whether they are actually chained up, or kept in line through extortion. The most important thing in their lives is to keep control of those people - and the second most is to regain control once they lose one.
I’m actively encouraging you to find those same joys yourself.
And I refuse to chase down happiness, because that will only make me an addict like my abusers. They abuse because abuse is the only thing that makes them happy, now that they’re strung out on it.
That’s what it looks like when someone encourages you - they tell you about how good your life can be if you regain hope.
No, that’s what lying looks like. I will never take anything anyone tells me at face value again.
I don’t believe you.
Like… call the police idfk. This violence and abuse is foreign to me, its not most people’s experiences and you’re in a deeply dangerous situation. You get away from those people, and actually the majority of people are great.
No one is ever going to acknowledge my humanity
What does that look like to you? People are talking to you right now. I know that no one has said “you are a person” but what specifically do you want?
Unless you were literally raised by wolves this is some self aggrandizing incel bullshit.
Coming up with an theory of the world that confirms that you are right and everyone else is terrible is lazy. I don’t think you’ve ever actually cared about anyone but yourself.
People are talking to you right now
You’re talking at me, lying to me and trying to dictate reality to me. You don’t respect me an an equal person - you think of me as an infinite “less than” that you need to dominate with your lies.
Unless you were literally raised by wolves this is some self aggrandizing incel bullshit.
I was raised by some of the most abusive people on the planet - enough to be jailed today - and surrounded exclusively by abusive peers.
I don’t think you’ve ever actually cared about anyone but yourself.
I did care, but you assholes taught me that caring about people who wanted me dead was a suicide pact. No one ever cared about me - not my parents, not my childhood peers, no school faculty. You motherfuckers demonstrated over fifteen years that my caring would be actively mocked as “stupid” and “retarded” and that I would be punished until I was capable of physically breaking my punishers. You all did that - not me. You all made sure no one would ever care about me, even going so far as to kill yourselves to guarantee it. You are quasi-religious zealots, dedicate to the cause of hate.
I was raised by some of the most abusive people on the planet - enough to be jailed today - and surrounded exclusively by abusive peers.
I’m sorry. Have you considered that they are perhaps not representative of the whole of humanity?
Humanity compulsively mirrors the behavior of other people, in order to be accepted by their peers. They have neurons dedicated to this mirroring. Furthermore, people compulsively fight and kill anyone who isn’t exactly like them - which is why my life is in danger, and why there are genocides.
This results in humanity constantly working to be exactly like one another - both to be accepted, and to avoid being killed. People who fail to do so do not survive, leaving only those who are almost exactly like one another.
Not to mention that asserting that people aren’t equal is simply bigotry. The only people who don’t think any person is representative of the whole of humanity are white supremacists.
This person did NOT go outside today
No shit - assholes like you would compulsively murder me.
Furthermore, people compulsively fight and kill anyone who isn’t exactly like them
Citation needed. How is there any diversity at all in the world? Not everyone is exactly the same.
The only people who don’t think any person is representative of the whole of humanity are white supremacists.
A sample size of one or a few is never totally representative of billions. Do you think everyone in the world is exactly like Greta Thunberg? People have a huge variety of values and personalities, you can’t boil everyone down to a charcuterie of the particular people you grew up with.
Citation needed.
Uh, every fucking genocide? Read a history book.
A sample size of one or a few is never totally representative of billions
My sample size is in the thousands - more than that if you include everyone who has participated in a genocide. Even more if you include every bigot.
People have a huge variety of values and personalities
And none of them mean jack shit. You’re bringing up meaningless drivel to support your weak-ass argument.
you can’t boil everyone down to a charcuterie of the particular people you grew up with.
The problem - confirmed by my therapists - is that there were exactly zero samples of anyone contrasting.
A society capable of keeping such people away at all can do so indefinitely. So it doesn’t matter if they ever existed or not - people will keep them away from me forever, simply because they could not live with themselves if they fail.
You’re talking at me, lying to me and trying to dictate reality to me.
Let’s say someone actually wanted to help you. Let’s say they truly believed that going outside and interacting with people in person would do you good. How should such a person express their feelings and try to help while acknowledging you, respecting your humanity, and treating you as of equal value as a human?
They wouldn’t last long enough - they’d be murdered, or at least disabled, by the other narcissists in society. Such a person would be an obvious “freak” and face the exact same “punishment” as I have faced my entire life - except they don’t have the experience that I do, and fall for one of their cons. That’s when they’d be killed.
Narcissists rule this planet with an iron fist. There is no escape, and no effective counter.
I would like to act like such a person. How would I do that? (I do want to help you, but I don’t think you would believe me)
I’m not going to assist your suicide.
Are you happy?
It seems like you are lashing out randomly and have a world view that everything is orchestrated to harm you.
You all made sure no one would ever care about me, even going so far as to kill yourselves to guarantee it.
You believe that people have killed themselves to make your life worse? I don’t want to sound mean, but you aren’t the only person.
Are you happy?
No, I’m not a happiness addict. Happiness is not the goal - it’s the failure state. Happiness means I’ve become an abusive monster, like you.
You believe that people have killed themselves to make your life worse? I don’t want to sound mean, but you aren’t the only person.
I know. They’ve done the same to and for other people. Bigotry affects millions of people - I’m simply an equal one of those affected.
I’m simply trying to convince people that I"m an equal one of them, but their bigotry makes them refuse to accept that - just as it does to the equality of many others. The only difference between me and other victims of bigotry is that I don’t belong to a group.
Happiness is not the goal - it’s the failure state. Happiness means I’ve become an abusive monster, like you.
That’s a wild take man. Like what are you talking about? Can you tell me exactly what I’ve done to be an “abusive monster”? Could you elaborate on how happiness is only the result of being abusive?
Happiness is like a drug; it is addictive, and “taking” it loses effectiveness over time. This means every person needs to do more extreme things to achieve the same happiness. Eventually, they need to start abusive others in order to achieve the same “high”.
You may not be actively abusive yet, but you have to quit cold-turkey and run directly away from happiness in order to avoid the grip it will gain on you.
And what magical fucking force forces people to “chill”?
They don’t. Because that magic doesn’t fucking exist.
I don’t say this often, but visit a Buddhist monastery.
…and figure out where all that anger is coming from.
and there is an entire organization of psychologists and sociologists who reject the pro-human narrative and know exactly how evil people really are
As a target is not set up to miss it so the nature of evil does not exist in the world.
figure out where all that anger is coming from.
I know where the anger is coming from - its coming from being treated unjustly my entire life - and knowing that everyone is willing to do anything up to committing suicide to continue to treat me unjustly, because they can’t live with themselves if they don’t. They think failure to be cruel to me proves that they are “weak” and unworthy of life.
As a target is not set up to miss it so the nature of evil does not exist in the world.
Is English not your first language? Because that’s not written correctly. The first clause does not relate to the second.
its coming from being treated unjustly my entire life
That’s not something in your control. What is in your control is whether you add to it, including by spreading bad vibes by being chronically miserable. Don’t be a slave to your past.
They think failure to be cruel to me proves that they are “weak” and unworthy of life.
If everyone, ever, looks like a narcissist to you then one of two things are true: a) You’re one yourself and are literally begging for that behaviour to be kept in check, or, b) you’re jaded beyond measure. Is there not a single person that doesn’t give you the creeps? You included, btw.
Is English not your first language? Because that’s not written correctly. The first clause does not relate to the second.
It isn’t, but yes it is written correctly. But the Epictetus translation I paraphrased it from is better, I agree:
As a mark is not set up for the sake of missing the aim, so neither does the nature of evil exist in the world.
spreading bad vibes by being chronically miserable
What the fuck is this bullshit? And what makes you think you don’t deserve the punishment?
Don’t be a slave to your past.
I’m not. I’m extrapolating the future from what I correctly learned from the past, and preparing for it.
If everyone, ever, looks like a narcissist to you then one of two things are true: a) You’re one yourself and are literally begging for that behaviour to be kept in check, or, b) you’re jaded beyond measure.
Oh, definitely B. But you’ll accuse me of being A, because you’re the narcissist. And I ABSOLUTELY do not anyone to “keep my behavior in check” - the entire point of this is to liberate my self from everyone else domination and desire to enslave me. I am willing to hacksaw people’s hands off at the wrist to keep them off of me.
Is there not a single person that doesn’t give you the creeps? You included, btw.
“Creeps?” What planet are you on? People are beating me up - that’s not “the creeps”, that’s justified fear.
As a mark is not set up for the sake of missing the aim, so neither does the nature of evil exist in the world.
Again, that doesn’t make any sense. “Evil” has nothing to do with “missing a mark”; evil is defined as the will and desire to dominate others. That nature does exist; psychology relegates it to Cluster B of the set on personality disorders.
What the fuck is this bullshit? And what makes you think you don’t deserve the punishment?
You don’t deserve the reaction you’re trying to coax out of me. You’re trying to elicit it so that you can be reinforced in your beliefs, so that you can continue to say “see, it’s true, everybody hates me, everyone is an enemy”. But no amount of flailing will make me hate you. Best I can do is tickle you into submission, sorry.
And, yes, my intent here is to dominate and my methods are manipulative. What’s the motive, though?
You don’t deserve the reaction you’re trying to coax out of me. You’re trying to elicit it so that you can be reinforced in your beliefs, so that you can continue to say “see, it’s true, everybody hates me, everyone is an enemy”.
No, I’m not. I’m trying to teach you about your own nature, so you can correct it.
What’s the motive, though?
The same motive all narcissists have - you’re trying to “prove” your “better” than I am to hide from your own insecurity. You’re trying to hide some secret shame from others - and you’re willing do anything, including kill, to do so.
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. This is… not a shared experience.
Look at this guy humble-bragging that he’s protected by his social circle.
I dont have a social circle, I talk to random people online when I feel like I wanna be social. I was just at the hardware store, looking like queer me, and the cashier was clearly a strong middle-aged white guy. He might politically want me dead. But he was nice enough. I didnt get the fear response activation vibe that he could murder me or wanted to. My name is Franzia, and it is a female name, I’m not a guy.
You mean like the majority of people?
Not having someone you can rely on is the exception, not the rule.
It is a great tool to perpetuate healthy human offspring.
The point is that you’re denying me that social circle by lying to other people about me - at minimum misleading them about me, for your own narcissistic ends.
No one owes you a social circle, so no one can deny it to you. Social connections are forged, not given. How can people you’ve never met lie about you? They can’t, by definition. There is absolutely no possibility that you’ve met every person even within your community, much less the world, in order to be able to make that assertion. It sounds like, you’re abusive, and blame it on your prior trauma, and when people don’t accept being abused by you, you claim that they’re liars or narcissists. Nearly everyone has had trauma in their life, many people have had trauma worse than can be imagined without experiencing it, and yet, they don’t become violently angry anti-social assholes.
Your response to trauma is a choice, and you have made a choice that prevents ever healing and creates further trauma.
It sounds like, you’re abusive, and blame it on your prior trauma, and when people don’t accept being abused by you, you claim that they’re liars or narcissists.
I’ve had a friend like that. It was hard cutting her off, but in the end our whole social circle agreed that was the right thing to do after enduring so much of her abuse over the years. She was crazy manipulative and always the victim, just like this dude.
No one owes you a social circle, so no one can deny it to you.
That does not give you the right to deny it in bad faith. If I do everything to earn that social circle, and I am still denied it, then you are acting in bad faith and must be punished - or you will permanently act in bad faith, and encourage others to do the same, virally.
Social connections are forged, not given.
The hell they aren’t. Every person I was raised with had their connections from birth. They were literally a birthright.
And I busted my ass to forge those connections, and you all fucking mocked me for it.
How can people you’ve never met lie about you? They can’t, by definition.
Are you mentally disabled or something?
A manipulator tells them false things about you to others, and then those others repeat it as gossip. I mean, the fucking Bible talks about this.
There is absolutely no possibility that you’ve met every person even within your community, much less the world, in order to be able to make that assertion.
I don’t need to. People go out of their way to be like everyone in their social groups to avoid being rejected; therefore everyone in a social group is similar enough to represent the whole group. All remaining difference are meaningless.
It sounds like, you’re abusive, and blame it on your prior trauma, and when people don’t accept being abused by you, you claim that they’re liars or narcissists. Nearly everyone has had trauma in their life, many people have had trauma worse than can be imagined without experiencing it
The difference is that I didn’t cause your trauma, but you at least want to cause mine. You have a compulsive need to dominate me to cover for your own insecurities. I don’t cover my insecurities - I blast them at maximum volume in order to make sure you can’t avoid the consequence for causing my insecure condition.
and yet, they don’t become violently angry anti-social assholes.
I’m not anti-social - you are the assholes rejecting me.
Your response to trauma is a choice, and you have made a choice that prevents ever healing and creates further trauma.
Wrong. I have made the only choice that lets me survive. You idea of “healing” is actually my complete submission to you, which I will never give; that is the only “healing” you want. I don’t want your “healing”; you can go fuck yourself.
I mean this in the nicest possible way, but I think you need to talk to someone and try and gain a new perspective. People aren’t inherently mean, and generally aren’t thinking about much other than themselves. People do “chill” as they get older and realize a lot of things really don’t matter in the long run.
Go find a team sport or a hobby with other like-minded people and focus on building a community of friendship and support. Your life is too short to not spend it being happy.
No, I don’t. My perspective is the correct one, and your bullshit is simply propaganda you’re gullible enough to be fed.
I will not believe anything else - especially if a lying human being sells it.
Finally, there ARE NO LIKE MINDED PEOPLE TO ME!!! The entire fucking problem is that you idiots sacrificed your minds for your happiness drug. I don’t want your “happiness” - I want moral integrity, and you want to kill me because that’s what I chose.
I will not believe anything else - especially if a lying human being sells it.
The way that everyone else seems to be getting along normally in their lives, maybe even having fun reading through this thread, while you’re getting angry and “shouting” reminded me of a line from The Count of Monte Cristo, where the count is trying to persuade a similarly unhappy person of the existence of a god.
‘No,’ said Caderousse. ‘No, I do not repent. There is no God, there is no Providence. There is only chance.’
‘There is both Providence and God,’ said Monte Cristo. ‘The proof is that you are lying there, desperate, denying God, and I am standing before you, rich, happy, healthy and safe, clasping my hands before the God in whom you try not to believe and in whom, even so, you do believe in the depths of your heart.’
Which is not to say that it’s a good argument; it’s actually pretty bad.
“Look at how fortunate I am to believe in my thing, and how unfortunate you are to believe in yours” when their beliefs are totally incidental.
But rereading it made me think about how little it matters about whose perspective is “correct” about something like that. To put it simply, there are plenty of “good people” in the world and there’s also plenty of “bad people”. Whether or not you choose to see good or bad is (in large part) up to you. Neither way is “right” or “wrong”.I think you would be happier if you tried to look for good instead of bad, but as you’ve stated, that’s not a goal of yours. I don’t think that you really have any more “moral integrity” than the other side though. While I’m not asking you to abandon your point of view, I think you should realize that there is a reason why your viewpoint is not very popular; it seems that you’ve had negative experiences that have caused you to become cynical about human nature but here’s a rough analysis of the numbers: the fact that most people are not that cynical is evidence that most people don’t have it that bad. People aren’t wrong to believe in good human nature when that’s what their experiences reflect. They’re coming to conclusions in the same way you are, just the other way around.
If your experiences have been so negative, that’s an alright thing to base your views on. But I hope that you find more positive experiences in the future that might change your mind. You probably won’t find it on Lemmy.
I sincerely wish I understood how someone can get to your point. I wish I could see this as some elaborate troll, but I can’t help but see this as something so much darker. I won’t recommend anything to you, as it’s pretty clear any effort to help is seen as an insult, at best. Just know that there are genuinely people who see reactions like this and wish they could help.
Just, sincerely, best of luck to you.
Dude (or dudette, or whatever),
You seriously have issues, really
What a fucking pant load. You’re so full of shit, it stinks
Bullshit. The majority of people want to dominate everyone not in their immediate social circle. Go look up social dominance theory - it will tell you everything you need to know about how people really behave.
I’m basing this on my life’s experience, and of those around me. That might not match your’s but what I say is true to me.
I’m not going to say you’re wrong. As long as inequalities exist between people, there will always be in-groups and out-groups of people. Humanity is tribal, and likely always will be.
But most people don’t spend their waking moments trying to enforce these tribalisms. Arseholes definitely do, but that’s not the majority of people.
And what magical fucking force forces people to “chill”?
Biology.
The human brain doesn’t come pre-built. There are many parts that develop at different rates, with the pre-cortex (the “rational” part of your brain) still developing even into your mid-20s.
During your adolescence this process is nowhere near complete, thus adolescents are generally severely lacking in the long-term judgement and planning department. They are more likely to be impulsive, to jump on the bandwagon of peer pressure without thinking through the consequences.
As they get older, most people become generally better at thinking things through. Less likely to act on impulse, and more likely to listen to others. They learn about viewpoints way outside their own and start to become less self-absorbed. At least that’s my experience of growing around my peers.
…
They don’t. Because that magic doesn’t fucking exist. Only the trauma of punishment makes people stop abusing others. Without the threat of permanent injury on themselves, people will always try to permanently injure others as a means to dominate and control - at least for the sake of their social groups. That desperate need to dominate and control is what makes them human.
You are spreading self-aggrandizing lies; spreading an infection that will only cause more people to get more “uppity” and beat more innocent people to death. Stop lying about people and apologizing for their bloodlust. People are murderers, hunters for the only “game” still left - forcibly isolated human beings.
I wasted my entire life being kind to people, only to mock me for being so stupid, so gullible enough to fall for the con that they would be nice back. They beat me like they were mining for ore, driving blow after blow into my skull until it was permanently disfigured, and then they broke every bone in my limbs until they didn’t work anymore.
Don’t give me this horseshit about how people “chill out” - I did not get almost murdered over fifteen years by people who would simply magically stop being murderous because some timer ran out. No, those motherfuckers murdered as if it was a fucking religious mandate and they are the same type of assholes who tried to take over the U.S. on January 6th.
No one is ever going to acknowledge my humanity, no matter how kind I am, or what I do. I will always be seen as a “less than” because the ENTIRE human race are malignant narcissists - and there is an entire organization of psychologists and sociologists who reject the pro-human narrative and know exactly how evil people really are. Quit apologizing for rapists and murderers.
Jesus christ you went off the deep end quick, I am not responding to all of that…
I don’t know what kind of life you’ve experienced, but you’ve got some deep-seated traumas up in that head of yours that you need to figure out.
Not only that, but you’ve seemingly driven yourself into an almost schizophrenic delusion that everybody is after you, looking for a chance to tear you down in whatever way they can. That’s just not the case.
If your tendency is to explode on anyone who disagrees about your worldview, to compare them to murderers, then I’m afraid you might just be the problem in your lack of a social life - I’ll leave you with this:
“If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole” - Raylan Givens, Justified
you’ve seemingly driven yourself into an almost schizophrenic delusion that everybody is after you
It’s not almost, they sound exactly like my old classmate who unfortunately did spiral down the path of paranoid schizophrenia. Nobody here is going to change their mind, despite your best intentions. Even professionals don’t have much better luck.
you’re probably right, which is really fucking sad
But most people don’t spend their waking moments trying to enforce these tribalisms.
That doesn’t matter. As long as they are enforced, “how often” doesn’t factor in. You only have to blow out an “invader” 's brain once.
As they get older, most people become generally better at thinking things through. Less likely to act on impulse, and more likely to listen to others. They learn about viewpoints way outside their own and start to become less self-absorbed. At least that’s my experience of growing around my peers.
Absolute horseshit. This stopped occurring in the early 20th century - if not earlier than that.
Not only that, but you’ve seemingly driven yourself into an almost schizophrenic delusion that everybody is after you, looking for a chance to tear you down in whatever way they can. That’s just not the case.
Then explain to me why exactly zero people supported me during my childhood. Not my parents not my peers, not school faculty, NO ONE.
If you can’t explain that with statistical logic, without resorting to sucking off the human species, you’re full of shit.
If your tendency is to explode on anyone who disagrees about your worldview, to compare them to murderers, then I’m afraid you might just be the problem in your lack of a social life
I’m not trying to have a social life anymore - you assholes proved that you’d sacrifice your lives to prevent that in my junior high.
I’m trying to secure my survival against a species that refuses to control itself. A species of rabid dogs that put on airs. You don’t just “disagree about my worldview” - you’re trying to annihilate my very identity so you can enslave me with your bullshit ideas.
I WILL NOT INTERNALIZE YOUR BULLSHIT, NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU FIGHT ME!!!
I might be late to the discussion, but it seems that your life has been hard and full of abuse. A lot of people here answered your comments with compassion, but your replies were almost always aggressive. It’s ok to feel hatred towards your abusers, but the fact that you seem to immediately hate people that try to peacefully communicate with you is, objectively, very wrong. Even if all the abusers in the world died tomorrow, would you be happy?
I don’t necessarily agree with your aggressive tone but I do agree with a lot of what you’re saying, this from someone who was treated like complete shit as a young adult, shit enough to leave me with trauma and a really bad fear of people.
I’ve seen what the worst side of people while being a soft kind and caring person. Anyone who believes what the other person said is pretty naive.
Unfortunately the aggressive tone is necessary to survive. If you give anyone an inch, they will interpret that lack of aggression as “weakness” and double-down on the assault, “going for the kill” in other words. The only way to keep the wolves at bay is to constantly lash out at their snout with something sharp; failure to do so and the pack lunges in.
You will die alone
No, I will be murdered.
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Nuh uh there’s a reason why social anxiety was, is, and will continue to be a problem for many people
When real life does not match up with the description given by social rejects on a site notorious for infidelity
notorious for infidelity
What does this part mean?
I think they mean “inaccuracy to reality” rather than “cheating on their partners”
Yeah i was going to say, you’ve gotta have a girlfriend to cheat on a girlfriend.
Yeah, when did 4chan suddenly become Ashley Madison?
He means that the stories and information posted there are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted there as a fact.
It means everyone on this site is a handholding whore
⛺️🔥 Rest here traveller. Reading the comments in this thread can get tiring.
It’s mostly fine. There’s one guy who’s got a real rough view of the world and taking it out on anyone that engages with him, but if you block him it’s a lot better.
@RubiksIsocahedron is a trip
Wow. You led me to a very deep rabbit hole. Not sure if it’s a troll or somebody in serious need for help, but holly hell
Made me wish I could subscribe to a user. Maybe you can, and I just don’t know it, but it was wildly entertaining.
is his name “anonymous”?
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Using high school as a marker for what to expect for the rest of life is such a terrible idea. Just throw that in the rubbish and go experience people for yourself. Wade through the assholes and you’ll find tons of nice folks just trying to live.
While that is true… There is still a ton of high school bullshit going on, especially in workplaces.
All the same drama and gossip… I’m so glad I don’t work in an office anymore.
Yeah, Bowling for Soup was really on to something there
And still making good music just an fyi.
Oh man, do I know it ❤️
Retail jobs are the worst for that because most people there ended up working them right out of high school
It just goes to show the average age of anons. Too sad if they plateau around that.
- “X raped my childhood!”
- “Jeez, Michael, you’re in your 20’s.”
It’s true. I think the amount of attention highschool gets, from people saying it was the best years of their lives, to adults coming down hard on you to do the best thing for your future, to your peers seemingly having an amazing time while you’re not, winds up making teens feel like it is indicative of how life will be in general.
It never made sense to me, but I wasn’t having a GREAT time until I was in my mid 30s. I had something like a 7 year party. Disposable income, before the worst of my aches set in, and just doing whatever I wanted as long as I made it in to work.
High school was Lord of the Flies.
When you’re terminally online, it helps to be at least reminded that online culture isn’t normal, especially not 4chan. But Reddit, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram are all full of their own weirdness.
Better than recognizing that would be to reintegrate into society fully and leave the internet mostly behind to sulk and moan.
I’ll say that at this point, 4chan has been the least toxic of the websites you listed. I left Facebook and still visit 4chan.
But you are correct. People need to unplug more and get outside.
Well that’s obviously an unhinged take
4Chan has the most terminally online and antisocial ppl
4chan isn’t as offensive to everyone as it is to you.
For example, they might not find outright genocidal opinions all that offensive, and may even enjoy reading them.
You’re right, that is very hinged.
There’s a way this is true but hard to explain unless you’ve experienced it. I think 4chan is much more openly toxic and shocking, but I used to mod defaults on reddit and all the same toxicity exists, except its dressed up in nice language and intentions. 4chan, to its detriment or success, is more accepting in a way. Reddit is full of people who know better than you and want to shame people for being stupid, far more judgemental. Some places on reddit are far better than 4chan though and don’t have this issue,
Think that might be why I see it that way.
I’d rather hang out with a bunch of self admitted degenerate assholes than those who are the same but dress it up and claim to be better.
4chan in the 00s was something I don’t think can ever exist again on the internet. It basically focus-grouped the sort of content that turned in to what the internet is today. I became a total loser at just the right time to experience it coming in to form, then became normal again at just the right time to leave before it became infected with politics.
Crazy story is when I first met my friend’s wife, the last person you’d expect to be a b-slur, we basically instantly and telepathically realized we’d both been on 4chan in the 00s. I dunno what it is but the sort of humor on that site was so specific and fucked up that you instantly recognize it.
I would, but I can’t can’t act like a(n emotionally considerate) 10 year old like I want to in real life. Yes, I know it’s weird, but no, I still feel rage at CSAM and am asexual.
That said, if you won’t try in real life… Well, the body can’t gave a social life without the mind. If the real world isn’t enough for some reason, learning to socialize in VR might ease the fear by providing comfort, just make sure your expensive goggles were worth it and actually say hi!
They also don’t complain about wokeness and people complaining about wokeness
I actually hear people complain about wokeness often irl. At the most random places and times.
I just hear it when my parents start ranting about how horrible the millennials are, without realizing both their children are millennials.
They know…
:(
Thank god I don’t live in the US
Eh, I’m a school bus driver and that shit is like the main topic of discussion in the break room. It’s usually that, dog-whistle euphemisms for racism, or outright use of the n-word.
Most people like being around other people who are chill and respectful. There’s no magic trickery about it. Get outside and talk to people.
Just talk to random people outside?
Results vary by region… You can try that for a while in northern Europe for example. In southern Europe the first person you speak to will probably end up inviting you for dinner with the family.
I can confirm the last one being quite a bit of an exaggeration. 😂
The consequences of being terminally online.
Hopefully this guy is in remission
god that’s really depressing
And this is one of the few posts on 4chan that doesn’t contain the n-word or f slur!
or t-slur… sheesh…
Tamarin monkey?
we wish…
This is a joke right it isn’t serious
This is what rehabilitation feels like
congrats anon 💜
I tried community college first online and then in person at 19/20. Felt so anxious about everything. Mom drove me there and back and was really mean about having to do it. Classes of normies were uber-social, like everybody introduce yourselves and talk aboit the topic. Felt fuck me eyes coming from everyone, which I was probanly returning, but it was a LOT of attention for my loner self. I stopped going and Mom resented me because it cost thousands for like nothing but she didnt want to do it my way either so it was sort of her fault as well. Anyway it was probanly trans dysphoria too. Of course my every waking moment I was like I wonder if they can tell Im feminine please tell me this will help me be more openly queer. Lol.
It’s obviously some kind of trap. Run!
Wtf does the tilt of your eyes (canthal tilt) have to do with anything? Do incels not like eyes now or something?
Incels think of lots of complicated theories about society and appearances to explain why they think women are not attracted to them
That’s interesting, they’re pretty much the same techniques used by racists from the 17-1900s to determine “racial superiority”. It’s like it never went away, just crawled into 4chan
Racist phrenology is alive and well among the racists who hang out on 4chan, and definitely, they also apply it to incel theory, mixed with misogyny and a feeling that genetics and society dealt them an unfair and poor hand which can’t be rectified.
Imagine being trapped by your own shitty illogical standards. I want to say I pity them but I don’t, their hate has victims.
Yeah, I also think it’s no coincidence
It’s less that there’s a thread of racial superiority that has been continuously passed on, and more than there is a human bias towards rationalizing away complex issues
Nobody thinks I’m attractive!
How many people did you ask?
Wait, you have to talk to people??
Wait, you have to not hate the people you talk to for them to be attracted in you?
I guess it’s an argument brought up by incels
It’s 4chan, of course it’s full of lies…
Equally can be said about Reddit, Twitter, lemmy, the rest of the fediverse, in fact anytime humans seem to have a large communication network they end up full of lies.
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